Breaking the Cycle: Coaching Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination

Breaking the Cycle: Coaching Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination

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John: [: 00:00:00

Angie: John.

John: did you finish that episode introduction I asked you to do for this week?

Angie: Sorry, John. I was gonna do it this morning, but then the coffee machine broke, and then I had to feed the dogs, and do my hair, and make myself look gorgeous for recording, which, I don't know if that worked or not.

John: No, you did. You look great. But I asked you to do this last week, not. last night.

Angie: I know, but stuff came up.

John: So we have No, intro for the show today.

Angie: No, I'm sure you'll think of something. You're really good at that.

John: Okay. Give me a moment.

Angie: What's our topic for today?

John: Wait a minute. You didn't even look at today's topic.

Angie: I told you, stuff came up.

John: It's procrastination.

Angie: I know what it's called.

John: Our topic today is procrastination.

Angie: Oh, that seems remarkably convenient.

intro. Let's start the show. [: 00:01:00

Angie: when I saw this, when we, when this came up, I thought to myself, I think John's trying to communicate with me through the intro for today.

John: was very subtle, Are

s of conversations we've had.[: 00:02:00

Where I'm like, ah, this came up, that came up, in other ways and decided that would be a good intro. So I'm just saying, I'm coming for you.

John: you. feeling a little bit attacked, Angie, with that intro today?

Angie: no, I'm good. I just think it's hilarious that I had to be. The procrastinator in today's warm up, just saying,

John: it's almost as if there was a reason for that, right? But look

It's about time we got around to this. We've been putting off procrastination for a little while ourselves. We want to talk about things like when's the best time to be taking action and what whether there's a cure for procrastination we want to do things like have a look at what the causes usually are for people to procrastinate and how to go around coaching people Who are actually in that position.

the coach who may be finding [: 00:03:00

When do you, is it an issue for you? Do you find yourself doing it? And if you do, when and what impact has that had? A lot of questions.

Angie: there's a lot there. I'm like, wow, let me unpack that for a minute. So do you want to know for me as a coach or as a human where I procrastinate if I procrastinate?

John: I guess both, but probably more relevant if there's areas of your coaching business and practice where you've done that.

ike it's a high level way of [: 00:04:00

So what, and I have the time. It's not a matter of the time. It's like I just mentally I don't want to deal with it. So I push it off And before I know it, here I am tick tock seven days later And I haven't done it and I have to do it. It's not even something that I can delegate it's not something I can delegate right?

So yeah so I would say for me that if something is difficult or challenging or A space that i'm not familiar

d to procrastinate so for my [: 00:05:00

John: For me, maybe a little different the results probably end up Being the same in the long run, but I'm more of I procrastinate from overthinking I will get into analysis paralysis quite often Because I'll overthink things and it is an element of I've heard it called no, but perfectionism or perfectionating. I like that cross between procrastination and perfectionism And there's some truth to that.

I don't see it as being perfectionism, but if I think about it, it's sometimes if I'm not a hundred percent sold on what I'm doing, I won't always just go for it. I'll hold back. And that is procrastination rather than just going for it and figuring stuff out along the way. I have to think everything through and feel like I have to have everything ready before I'll really go full charge into it.

more than many other things. [: 00:06:00

Angie: so Yeah, I think that's something that i've seen and experienced. It's not something I personally do. You But I think the point my background came from the sales arena

and sales is hard. I don't care who you are. Sales is hard, so what I saw as a theme for a lot of people is that they would throw themselves into the education space so that they wouldn't actually have to go out and sell whatever their product was.

Meaning they might go, you know what, I feel like I'm having a hard time with this. So I'm going to go get, whether it's a certification or I'm going to go sit in this class or I'm going to learn more. And they tell themselves like, and once I do that, then I'll be ready. And they become lifelong students that dabble a little bit.

g, right? Lights on, bellies [: 00:07:00

I used to call her like the professional student. You are a professional student Do you want to be a professional realtor because she was that particular person's space Or do you want to be the professional student? Because you've got all the education you need to do the next step. That doesn't mean that we can't grow and do more, right? And get, more certifications that are specific, whatever. But when you do that, she didn't even realize it though. The beauty of it was that she like, had this confused look on her face for a minute.

would get uncomfortable in a [: 00:08:00

John: I've seen it I've probably even done it a bit not as I recognized it was an issue for me but I have seen people Really hiding away from, I would almost say hiding away from the real world or real life. The, maybe the difference between, having your food delivered to your house or going out and hunting for yourself, growing your

own crops is that, that was the analogy that came into my head anyway.

erence between some, I'm not [: 00:09:00

It is, but there's a big difference between academic knowledge and practical knowledge. A lot of the time, a lot of the people who are in academia full time don't have necessarily a lot of practical real world experience of the things they teach. They have a lot of knowledge about everything that's gone on, But they've never actually done it.

Or I say never, I shouldn't say never, but often they haven't done it themselves. They just have the theory rather than the practice.

I am a very big believer in the, the wisdom of Lao Tzu and the one probably one of the wisest men who ever lived that to know and not to do is to not truly know.

Having information. Isn't really knowing. You just have data, but until you do it, until you can practically apply the stuff and be out there doing it, you don't really know. And I think a lot of people are afraid of putting themselves in that position where you actually are gonna be finding out and encountering the real world.

Angie: I [: 00:10:00

It's failure I don't like not knowing I'm so used to knowing or how to do things that this makes me overly uncomfortable, but honestly, that's how our brains are, wired that it's like sensing danger and it's telling us that. So we get those feelings of discomfort.

rld who are absolutely lazy, [: 00:11:00

There are people who would rather, the work smarter, not harder, wasn't a positive thing, right? It was like, yeah, I'm just not feeling that. Okay.

You're not that person. You're not going to let the, light the world on fire. But, so that's not it because I think a lot of people, when they feel like they are procrastinating, they then start this conversation with themselves that they're a little bit lazy about it, and that goes into a whole other direction.

John: I'm not 100% sure where the line is between procrastination and apathy but I think there is a line there

And and they are different things, laziness and apathy are not the same necessarily, but I do think procrastination can lead you down that path, potentially. I have a particular view on procrastination, that, I, maybe I've picked up from all sorts of different places, or maybe it's just been from years of coaching.

use we haven't practiced the [: 00:12:00

If we haven't ever practiced that or been conditioned or raised in a way that would encourage us to do that. So I do think that I certainly have seen people who have been more conditioned in their youth from their families to be action takers, to be proactive about things. And that, that has been trained in from an early age.

I certainly saw it when I used to study martial arts, kickboxing in particular. First martial art I ever did was kickboxing. And if you can believe it yeah.

Angie: Did you see me lean in? I'm like, really?

John: Really. Did you? Yes, I got a black belt in kickboxing. I'll have you know, and although I'm not sure I can do it anymore. That was, this was a long time ago.

I was a lot younger

Angie: No,

compliment.

in the club were growing up [: 00:13:00

There was always that encouragement, there was that training to get you into that kind of mindset. It's one of the reasons why I think if you did martial arts for No, other reason than to train your mindset, it would still be worthwhile. So I do see that part of it. And I do think that procrastination is really just what happens when we haven't had that kind of conditioning growing up that we fall into.

And it's very natural to fall into a habit of just putting things off waiting for the last moment and very often, it's that lastminute. com kind of sensation that we have. Oh, now it's urgent. The thing that I've been putting off does that does actually get the heart racing can actually pull a lot of resources out of us in a very short space of time.

can race, race to the finish [: 00:14:00

Angie: Oh yeah.

John: get started on working on it, that kind of thing of, you can, sometimes you can meet the deadlines, even then I still look back and think, okay, it doesn't really

Angie: but you're creating chaos in your life. You can wait until the last minute. And I love when I hear people say, And if any of you are listening and you feel insulted by this, oh but I love when I hear people say i'm the person that I thrive like I do my best work under pressure

Stop it Don't even come to me with that because what you're telling me is you really don't know how to function and plan and be productive.

the polar opposite of being [: 00:15:00

John: It's It is the thing of It shows, You're demonstrating that you are reactive instead of proactive.

Angie: right,

John: You're reacting to the stress, the urgency, rather than actually doing things in good time because even if you did you'd still probably want to have that time before your final deadline.

If you imagine if you had that time to review everything that you've done, I think, Oh, fix a few make a few corrections, fix a few errors before you actually submit some work or deliver the presentation, whatever it is, you're going to be so much more prepared, I certainly that I'll say this, I've had the experience, especially in my university days of Feeling like I performed better under that last minute pressure.

d do all the work was new to [: 00:16:00

Angie: Listen, but it's, but it is, it's a created habit. It's what we become because it's what I did. So you're saying like, hey, when I was in college, and I did it. I'm not sitting here on some high horse going, I never did that. Yeah. You know what? I was more about, let's have a good time and I'll do the stuff I have to do later because that was just how I did it.

I work really hard not to do that anymore because for me when I am actually fair and I actually do something with advanced notice and I put time and energy into it versus last minute kind of thing. The work I do when I actually put time and energy into it is so much better. I, that's for me but I'm, but I have something to compare it to.

think that there's a lot of [: 00:17:00

So I think they're, how do you get them to that point? Sometimes it's just through a line of questioning, but I feel like it's more about putting some systems into place, product, productivity systems into place that will help shift away from that. Again, if somebody who's high level comes to me and says this is just how I plan on doing it.

And you know what? I can't help you. If you're not willing to be open to the change, then we can't help you, understanding what you said, I think was diamond, right? Love it. That it's really just showing who you are, right? You are basically showing that you are a reactive person versus being a proactive person.

do you really decide, am I a [: 00:18:00

And he was like, no, it's not really. And I'm like, okay, all right. But I did go to call it out first. Because. I sensed something. But we didn't get deep enough into it. So I don't really know what the goal was yet. So anyway, but

point that I make,

John: that I don't, we'll come back to that. privately.

Angie: come back to that. But the point I'm making though, as a coach, if you are a coach, right?

It's very easy. I think those should be. It's sometimes it's easy to see when somebody's avoiding something. I had a client. Years ago who had this thing about cleaning her bathroom. I'm not even joking It was a thing and it was the thing that was Throwing her entire life Into a tizzy because of cleaning this bathroom.

ded to feed the dogs and get [: 00:19:00

I mean it was like And when I tell you that we spent sessions on it, and it sounds silly really shouldn't clean her bathroom, who cares? She cared. And it was affecting her whole life. So we put some systems into place, and it literally changed everything, because I think that, you know what? I'm done. Why we procrastinate is sometimes we make things bigger than what they actually are,

It goes back to the, the adage of you eat an elephant. It's one bite at a time and literally I said to her, this was a breakthrough because I didn't even know where I was going with it.

And I said to her what if you just cleaned the bathtub

today? How [: 00:20:00

Oh, it would probably take me a half an hour. Okay.

So could you do that today? Great.

And I kept taking her through that and she cleaned the freaking bathtub. Send me a message. I can't believe it. I cleaned the bathtub.

Okay. So now what if you clean the shower? Because they were separate for her. She told me the whole thing and she did it. So all of a sudden it was like the skies opened up and the cherubs were singing and But it was huge for her. Again, it sounds so silly. But that was how she approached her entire life.

her whole life. Silly as it [: 00:21:00

that was a really great,

John: This is, the question that's been sitting in my, the back of my head here, like just waiting for the right opportunity to bring it in. How do you feel about the statement or even cliche, if you like, of how you do anything, is how you do everything.

Angie: you're asking me really?

John: I, am asking you.

Angie: I'm like, is this an audience question? But I would say that it's pretty, I wouldn't say it's 100 percent ironclad, but it probably points to yes, mostly. How you do how you approach the difficult things, right? It's usually not going to change from situation to situation. Yeah,

sy and chaotic in one place, [: 00:22:00

Kept as your sanctuary, but for the most part, we're gonna see that showing up somewhere else. I think so. As a generalization, yes. It, I think it can work quite well as a strictly always true. No, not so much. But it can be helpful in that generalist sense, so

Angie: I think it's a great assessment. I think it's a great way to say, you know what, wait a second. Once I realize where I procrastinate, can I pick that apart? And then look at that and shift lenses into the other parts of my life, how am I, as a professional, if you are, how do I show up as a parent, sibling, family person.

t doing this, but one of the [: 00:23:00

Transcribed Right the bathroom specifically so you know in her mind, and I think it's an all or nothing mindset that she had Which is, I think, a big challenge for people who, I think it's a big, the red bump, red light. Why don't I know what's a red light? Big bright light? How do I know if I am?

Are you getting things done or do you keep putting the same things on your calendar over and over? Do you even have a calendar? But her self care, she would feel like if I don't work out for an hour, then it's not, then I ruined it. What would happen if you only worked out for 30 minutes, right?

use she, it was like, it was [: 00:24:00

It's, it was very all or nothing, but that's not the word I'm looking for. But, and I think that's what is, and something that brings on more. Perfectionism and procrastination is if I can't do it to 100, I'm not going to start doing it at all.

John: it's it ties in somewhat with the awful. Goal setting principles, I hate the way most people teach goal setting, but it ties in with the awful goal setting principles of your goals being a pass fail, really thing is like you, you aim for something and it's a pass or fail.

er runners aren't still very [: 00:25:00

Every little bit you do is a win. It's on the path to some sort of fulfillment or development for yourself. And if we reset our understanding of goal setting as being the goals really are the actions that need to be taken in order to achieve the outcomes that we want then the goal doesn't seem like it's so far away.

It doesn't feel like, Oh, it's not worth going for an app because it's not getting us on. No, we're not at our goal. It's more, all if I can't do the whole thing, maybe I can do a bit, or I can do something today that gets me on the path because consistency has so much more value. Then a huge, a huge, or what would you call it?

all in on something and it's [: 00:26:00

Those are the things that are so important, really, in getting us to the outcomes that we really want to be, do, have, or create in our lives.

Angie: I'm looking it up. I can't remember what it is. Oh, it is. It's, I knew, I thought it was dopamine. Here's something for people to think about. So when we complete something, when we accomplish something, when we get to a certain point, we there's a feeling of accomplishment, right? That's a dopamine. I'm not an MD.

's one big, like rush of it. [: 00:27:00

The reason why all or nothing, that's why all or nothing. Generally doesn't work for most people. Generally, it doesn't. Because we're not there. There's nothing to keep us motivated, right? That we're not getting that feeling because it's I just have to do this now.

So it's something to think about because I've worked with a lot of people who.

half pound Or the pound. And [: 00:28:00

It is actually the springboard to the next space. If you look at it and say I only did this. Guess what? Then you're setting yourself up for failure because you have to look at, That the puzzle piece, the puzzle doesn't get put together with one piece, usually, right? And understand that there is something that will actually help motivate you to move forward.

huge.

John: Yeah, I do think that there could be a big connection between impatience and procrastination, and that might sound paradoxical, but sometimes it is our impatience to achieve our goals and outcomes that can cause us to procrastinate about them, Or things aren't happening fast enough, so we end up putting stuff off or falling away from stuff.

We

s ago, we were just having a [: 00:29:00

rk. It's not a great for me. [: 00:30:00

Yeah, I think there's a lot of things that come into procrastination, but I think that the overarching is that there's fear. There's overwhelm. Like those things. Th

John: When I've worked with people on their businesses which I have done for many years, there are common themes that I see come up that relate to procrastination. One of them is that they're always finding themselves fighting fires in the business. I always, there's always a panic situation.

to do. Some of that is we've [: 00:31:00

Angie: Huh.

John: And a lot of them who aren't doing the work, a lot of the time that is because I'm too busy, there's too much on my plate, there's this come up, or we just done this, or we just

opened this new place, and I will, there are other people who can do stuff, Right. You're not the, not necessarily the only person in the business or even then. Maybe it's time to get some help in so that you can make this transition or open up this other part of what you're doing because busy is not always productive. Busy is not always effective. Sometimes busy is just busy.

yourself, what do I need to [: 00:32:00

What are the things that I cannot, duplicate my, like I have to do it myself. Has to be mine and not from a control standpoint. I'm saying literally like it has to be done by you. And what do you like to do? What do you not like to do? And then start asking yourself where you can delegate.

Where does it make the most sense? So that you can give yourself back a little bit of time or a lot of time to make more informed plans on how you're gonna approach things

tion because you're too busy.[: 00:33:00

It's not that you don't care about that result, it's that You're not actually giving yourself the ability to do that. Nothing is going to change because what you really are isn't busy. It's stuck. You're stuck in your business. You're trapped. And unless something shifts, it's going to stay that way.

So the answer is, To get yourself unstuck and maybe get some help to get yourself unstuck. Otherwise, you are gonna be stuck there for maybe a long time, maybe the rest of your career or business.

Angie: listen definitely happens have you ever coached somebody where and let's just say they're new like a coach I'm saying that because I've coached coaches

And it's so amazing to me, and it's going to go back to the beginnings, right? The introduction, the intro that we used today, that it just like stuff kept coming up, right?

literally asked these newer [: 00:34:00

Where would you put somebody into your calendar right now? If I handed you if I said this to somebody specifically if I handed you I said, hey, I have too much You I'm handing you five clients. You're going to turn them away. No. You're so busy. Where would you put them? You're too busy according to you.

mes, and I'm not saying that [: 00:35:00

Now, how do I scale right? That's a whole different business conversation on how you do that But this is like new you're just starting out And you're so so busy and i'm like I sit there and I scratch my head and I go Okay, one week. All right, but week two and three you come back to me and say oh i'm still i'm just so busy I'm gonna i'm gonna come at you and say so if I handed you five clients right now Where would you put them they're each going to pay you seven to eight ten thousand dollars You would you have the space?

Yes. Then why wasn't this? So it's also what we deem important, relevant, and necessary. So there's a lot of questions there that have to be

lot of the time I'll hear, I [: 00:36:00

Are you doing that now? Why isn't it already a priority? And so we do have to dig into that. We do have to call this stuff out. Is that, it's interesting that, the conversation is merging. It's like some of it's coaching ourselves, some of it's coaching our clients, but either way it helps us all.

And and that's so much of what coaching is a lot of the time, I very much like as a coach to also help people instill small habits that can affect that thing of the, how we do anything being, how we do everything principle, if you like, that if we can find small ways to be proactive, that can start to spread and and have that awareness of, all right, yes, I'm being proactive.

So that you know that you're doing it. If you drop something, pick it up right away. If if there's something you can do in two minutes, do it now. That kind of mentality.

then I, because I agree with [: 00:37:00

it's a very specific type of [: 00:38:00

Think surgeon, think somebody who has to be on in a moment. And in a really super important way that type of person that works Because they have to show up and they have to really me we hope right and be on point and all the things but like that just that whole theory and you've heard it I mean has anybody not heard somebody say let's just do the hardest things of your day first.

That doesn't always work. So when you try to fit that into a box You know if it's round and you're putting it into that square hole, it's not going to work. It just doesn't work for everybody So I don't believe that's always let me do my day that way or my week

aching procrastination. Like [: 00:39:00

Angie: Okay, i'm gonna say this. It's huge,

but you've you I as a coach. I am very cautious On accountability because I'm not their mama and nobody's getting in trouble if they don't do the work.

So I want to be really clear that, I've had people say, I need an accountability coach. I'm not an accountability coach.

I'm going to hold you to things, but I think that what happens sometimes is when people are working in accountability, there's a fear behind that. And it's because they feel like I've had clients say to me, I'm sorry, Angie I just didn't get to the work that we talked about me doing in between.

week? I have to know that so [: 00:40:00

And again, I don't want anybody to ever feel like they are answering to me and it happens a lot because I, I'm, and I don't want to call it a position of authority, but like my clients look at me as like a leader. I am the leader of this, what's going on. So I accept that responsibility, but when I'm talking about somebody like setting goals, that person that I talked about earlier, I never once made her feel less than.

positive way and say, okay, [: 00:41:00

So what happened? We know what happened. We didn't do it again. Okay.

John: yeah, a lot. There's a line between tough love coaching and being an arsehole but we want to there's definitely a distinction. I'm just saying, like, when it comes to accountability, yes, I'm going to ask for permission to hold you accountable, but the accountability is going to be, did you do it?

And if not, we're going to, and I'll frame this up beforehand. If not, we're going to take a look at why and see what we can learn from that and see if we can actually make some changes that are going to help you move forward or do or perform better this next week. But it's not about, oh you fucked up, didn't you?

What a piece of, what a piece of trash. We're, you're worthless. It's who would that help? You might even

have

Angie: But have you? ever seen coaches do that? I've been involved with coaches

John: who do.

treme, but I'm going to tell [: 00:42:00

No, if somebody ever, listen, I'm going to say this. If you scold somebody, shame on you. And if you ever feel scolded, you need to change coaches.

Anyway, keep going. Go ahead, John. Sorry.

John: I, agree. a hundred percent to help you improve. The goal is not to make you feel like crap. Yeah, there, I'm sure there's an argument to be made for the client needs to push back against that and Go no, you're the arsehole and I'm going to prove you wrong.

a way for you to create that [: 00:43:00

And is that going to help you? I've used it in rare situations with clients because most people we can just figure it out. But sometimes we have had to look at things like, okay, maybe there needs to be a penalty for not doing this. I generally don't encourage that, but is that something that's going to help them if I asked them?

If it is, then we'll set that up. What's the penalty for not doing this?

Angie: I think that there's, some coaches use reward systems, if this happens, what will this do and whatnot, I myself personally, I stay away from that. One thing that I actually do though, as a tool is I will say to them, so tell me about a time when you didn't procrastinate.

personally and say what was [: 00:44:00

Maybe it was in college. I don't care when it was because we can tie ourselves back into those past memories and then say, okay, so what did you do then that maybe you're not doing now? Can you tell me that? Take yourself through that process. That is something that you can intentionally do with somebody To teach them how to hold accountability without being the asshole, right?

Cause everybody's not a failure at everything they've ever done in their whole lives. You know that. So try and bring them back to something where they did feel success or whatever, something positive, getting something done and let that be their guide. So that person that I talked about earlier, For the rest of her life, maybe there were other things because I didn't use that with her, but for the rest of her life, she's always going back to the bathtub because that was her first step.

is. So anyway yeah, don't be [: 00:45:00

John: an interesting take that I think that I will finish on is that. Very often I do encounter, and sure you do as well. Clients who feel stuck, clients who are feeling like in procrastination or in some other way or they feel like their lifestyle moving forward. They feel a malaise a general sort of feeling of sadness or apathy or whatever.

Angie: Just saying.

John: Always turns out to be like, oh, I dunno why I feel this way. I dunno why I feel this way. Sometimes they do, but a lot of times they don't. It's nearly always because they're not taking any action. And so something as simple as cleaning the bathtub or taking a walk or doing something is action.

And really, as I said, it doesn't always matter what the action is, so long as you take some action. And you start creating a bit of an action habit for yourself. It's like movement towards something is always going to be better than just feeling like you're just stuck in one place. And that you're not going anywhere.

n general when you're taking [: 00:46:00

that's how we can understand it.

So it's more actions. Clean the bathtub, take a walk, tidy up your papers, clean your desk, whatever it is, but take some small action. Coach your clients to take some small action to move forward.

Angie: Agreed. I absolutely think that's a great philosophy. Do something,

Just do something.

John: Just do something.

Angie: Sometimes you feel like that, but we don't talk like that except to each other.

John: Not to our clients but

but yeah just do something. It's don't care how small it is. Small, simple, doable actions. I love them because you can create consistency, you can create habit. They're manageable.

've talked about energy, but [: 00:47:00

That leads to procrastination. yeah,

John: lots of questions.

Angie: So ask us. We would

John: us,

Angie: hear those, right? If you have questions, definitely reach out to us

John: and here's how you can do that. You can leave us a voicemail. It's free. You can do it online. You go to www. speakpipe. com forward slash the coaching clinic podcast. And you can leave us a voicemail there. And if you do that and we like it, we might even feature you on the show. That's

the best way to. if we don't like it, we might feature you on the show anyway just because we're like that or find us on LinkedIn and leave us a message there.

me posting lots of annoying [: 00:48:00

Angie: Teasing and making fun of Angie.

John: touch with us and leave us your comments, leave us your questions. We'd love to hear from you, but we'll be back with another episode next week.

So until then, have an amazing week.

Angie: Bye for now.