Episode 26

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Published on:

10th Sep 2024

Turning Criticism into Growth: A Coaching Perspective on Feedback

Navigating Feedback Without Taking It Personally

In this episode of the Coaching Clinic Podcast, Angie and John address how to handle feedback without taking it personally.

They share their experiences as coaches, discuss the importance of feedback for personal and professional growth, and explore various types of feedback they’ve encountered.

The conversation also touches upon the challenges of maintaining confidence, dealing with difficult clients, and implementing effective coaching practices.

Additionally, the hosts provide insights into their upcoming live sessions on LinkedIn and YouTube, where listeners can interact with them in real time.

keywords

feedback, coaching, personal growth, objectivity, detachment, not taking things personally, growth mindset, feedback, coaching

takeaways

  • Feedback is not a personal attack, but rather a reflection of the giver's state of mind.
  • Coaches should strive to be objective and detached when receiving feedback.
  • Self-reflection and continuous improvement are essential for personal and professional growth.
  • Feedback should be seen as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack. It's important to not take things personally and to develop a growth mindset.
  • Feedback, both positive and developmental, is essential for growth and improvement.
  • Taking a step back and deciding how to respond can help avoid taking things personally.
  • Opening ourselves up to feedback on a regular basis can lead to personal and professional growth.

Sound Bites

  • "Feedback is challenging sometimes. Maybe it should be."
  • "Being able to pull back and say, whoa, we're not doing this"
  • "Why did you say that? What's what was your intention?"

00:00 Listener Feedback Sparks Discussion

01:26 Understanding and Handling Feedback

02:38 Personal Growth Through Coaching

05:56 Dealing with Difficult Clients

12:51 The Importance of Self-Reflection

19:44 Balancing Objectivity and Empathy

26:42 Owning Up to Mistakes

27:50 Handling Criticism and Feedback

28:40 The Importance of Asking Questions

31:47 Dealing with Emotional Reactions

37:55 Apologizing and Taking Responsibility

39:27 The Value of Feedback in Coaching

45:05 Cooking and Personal Development

50:00 Upcoming Live Shows and Interaction

Transcript
John:

Angie.

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Angie: John.

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John: We had a message from a listener

and she says she loves the show and

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thinks you're absolutely the best.

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Angie: You mean both of us?

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John: No, it clearly says Angie

is the best thing about the show.

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Angie: Oh, I'm sorry.

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She didn't mention you two?

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Are you upset?

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John: No, I agree with her.

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You're great.

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That's why I wanted to

do the show with you.

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Angie: So you're not upset?

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No, are you kidding?

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I'm not taking it personally.

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I'm sure I'll have my share of fans too.

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You are?

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John: Okay,

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now I'm starting to take it personally.

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Yes, I am.

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Thank you very much.

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Angie: Not taking things personally would

be a great topic for us, don't you think?

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John: Absolutely.

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Let's do it.

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Let's start the show.

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Angie: Yeah, one of the places

we run into as coaches is when we

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receive, as John called it, feedback.

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I called it complaints.

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Sometimes it is complaints, but I think

it's better to address stuff as feedback

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because it ultimately is all feedback

and there's different types of feedback.

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There's constructive feedback, there's

destructive feedback, there's useless

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feedback, there are all sorts of feedback.

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So let's cover it all with feedback.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, like this.

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Feedback is challenging sometimes,

or maybe it should be because

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not all the feedback you're going

to get is, Oh, you're wonderful.

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You're great.

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You're amazing.

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It's nice when we get that,

but that's not the feedback

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that actually helps us to grow.

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Yeah, honestly.

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And when I think, when I do any

kind of coaching, when I see clients

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that are striving toward that

perfectionistic mind, that's what they do.

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I always say to them, stop looking

for that, because Now, it doesn't

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exist, but even beyond that, you're

not going to grow if everything is

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exactly the way it's supposed to be.

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And as coaches, we need

to be in a growth mindset.

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I, we need to be able to grow

and shift and change and learn

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for

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sure.

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Yeah.

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When I very first started doing coaching.

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And you can let me know if

you had a similar experience.

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There was certainly a period of time where

I was only as good as my last session.

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If that makes sense.

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Yeah.

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My, my ability as a coach really

depended on how did my last session go?

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Cause if it went great, I

was like, Oh, I'm great.

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I've definitely picked

the right path for me.

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I'm super good at this.

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And this is so me.

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And then if the session didn't go well or.

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Sometimes some really horrible ones.

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Oh, I should, maybe I

shouldn't be doing this.

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I probably have picked

the wrong profession.

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Maybe I should go and get a job.

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It was like that for

ages, for absolutely ages.

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Did you have that?

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I don't know if I

exactly had it like that.

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I think maybe once or twice I had

the, I had questioned myself and

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said, do you really want to do this?

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And it was the result of a couple

of really challenging clients, but

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one of my mentors taught me this.

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And I didn't, and I remember

her saying, you have no idea how

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important this is going to be.

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But listen to what I'm saying.

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This is not about you.

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And the minute you stop making it about

you, then you're not really, not that

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you're not worried because of course, as

coaches, we want to deliver the best that

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we can for those clients in that moment.

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We are not valued at only

the great sessions, right?

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Or the result of the outcomes.

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That's just not a great mindset

to be in when you're a coach.

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No.

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I think it took me, maybe a I was going

to say maybe two years, but I think

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certainly by 12 months in, I started to

have more confidence in my ability, like

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when the vast majority of my coaching

sessions went well, when clients are

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coming back and getting results, and also

renewing as well, clients renewing was a

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pretty good indication that things were

going well, I felt a lot more confident.

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As things went on, sometimes confidence

does just come from having the

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experience and doing more of it.

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I didn't need to rely

on that sort of thing.

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How was the last session?

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How do I feel about that?

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Because even years on, I've still had some

coaching sessions go really off the rails.

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and maybe even questioned

myself after that.

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But not question myself as to

whether I should be a coach, but

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really question just, I start

going, I go into deep analysis of

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what could I have done differently?

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Was there a better way

to handle that situation?

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So it's different now.

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Absolutely.

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And honestly, I think that we always

need to be doing that check in anyway.

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And I'm not saying that because we

need to beat ourselves up and grind.

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I have to be better.

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I have to be better, but.

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I think it's always a great idea to

look at the individual sessions with

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clients and say, okay, that went really

well, but again, not because of you

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and how you feel about it, but to say,

okay, am I, are they progressing or

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are they stuck in the same places?

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Am I actually helping

them to move forward?

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It's really, what are you

gauging a good session on versus

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a, I don't want to say bad.

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But I don't know, have you

ever had a bad session?

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I've had one or two bad sessions

where, you know, one, one client

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in particular was popping into

mind where she was literally mother

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effing me like six weeks to Sunday.

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She came into the session

with negative energy.

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It was the end of her very long work week.

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It was raining on her to hear the energy

and there was a part of me, I'm going to

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be honest, That was going to reschedule.

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But I asked, I said, Hey, so

how are you feeling about your

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energy coming into the session?

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Do you feel like you're going to

be able to put all those other

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things aside and be objective?

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And she was like, of course I can.

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I'm a professional.

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And it went really south.

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And I had a moment where she was telling

me off where I was like my, not that

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I fit, but I had, I felt something.

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I had an emotion and I was like, no.

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And I stopped her.

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I I didn't even let her finish the rant

on how much I'm spending and how dare

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you and I wouldn't be feeling this way

if you were doing your job and literally.

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And in that moment I had to

separate and say, first of all,

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we don't curse it at coach Angie.

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We don't do that.

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I don't curse at you.

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You're not cursing at me.

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You want to curse.

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I have clients that are like,

you'd say some things, but

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they're not directing it at me.

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I had to regain control of that session

and said to her, so that's the first

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thing I'm telling you out of the gate,

although you might be paying me, I

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will happily refund you if you think

that's how the conversation should go.

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And that was my emotional response, right?

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I was like, no, not going to happen.

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She sat for a minute in silence, and

I, it was, honestly, I could remember,

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I just remembered the fear he sat

there, and I was like, it was so

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uncomfortable to let that silence remain.

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And then it was, cause it was probably

a good two minutes, do you know how long

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two minutes is in a session with nothing?

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It was pretty hard.

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That, that,

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John: That yeah.

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Angie: Yeah.

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And she came back to earth and

I said, she apologized and I

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said, okay, what's happening?

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What's really going on here?

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What are you really angry about?

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I had to reframe everything, but the

hardest part of that was accepting.

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Understanding first and

accepting it wasn't about me,

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that I didn't do on her wrong.

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I didn't, it wasn't my coaching.

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It wasn't how much she was paying me.

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She was having a bad day, week,

month, year, life at that point.

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And for some reason it was coming

to some head and guess who was what

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in the line of fire yours truly.

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But if I had experienced,

I would say this to you.

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If I had experienced.

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Early in my career, I probably would

have brushed it, I can't brush it.

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That's what

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John: I was going to say, you sound

like quite a good example of not taking

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that personally, being able to pull back

and say, whoa, we're not doing this.

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Angie: Yeah, but that's hard.

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I think that is a skill.

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John: I agree.

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I can certainly think of, gosh, I'm

trying to think of the last time

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I had something like that happen.

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And I was, it was like probably

last year, I think, doing a

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session with a guy who's a liar.

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Come on.

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Complete know it all.

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It was our, actually, it was our second

session working together, but the, all

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the stuff that he had that was issues

was, he was making it all about me you're

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the crappy coach, you're with the crappy

company and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And I.

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Really was, I was like, I'm not

taking, I'm not taking this personally.

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It's okay, if that's how you feel, maybe

you should work with another coach.

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Whatever these issues are,

they're actually not on me.

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I'm not here to argue my case.

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It's like your feelings are your feelings.

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But if you have an issue, maybe take

it up with the customer service team.

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It's not that I really, not that I

really liked laying stuff off onto

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other people, but the guy wasn't

going to communicate with me and

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we ended up not working together

anymore, which was a great relief.

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But yeah, definitely in a

position there where it's okay.

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I have no reason to take this personally.

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And even a situation that I told you

about with another client, a longer

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term client who did after the fact

send me a litany of complaints.

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Angie: Oh, yes.

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John: About our time working together.

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That was a bit harder not to take

personally, but even though I knew that

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all the stuff I was being blamed for

wasn't on me, the fact that I was being

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blamed for it by somebody who I'd worked

with was, that was a little personal.

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It's that thing of, I don't feel

like that stuff was my fault, but

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I still, as we've talked about many

times, I still took that look at

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saying, what can I learn from this?

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Could, are there ways I could improve?

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Now, could there have been

situations where I might have

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intervened a little more, or.

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It said, you know what, have you

thought about it for this perspective?

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There may have been, I don't know

for sure, but there may have been,

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but it may be at least makes me a

little more aware of making sure that

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I frame up with something that just

because you've got a coach, it does

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not guarantee that everything you do

is going to work out in your favor.

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Angie: It's like medicine, you know how

they call it like the medical practice and

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sometimes people are a little sarcastic

and don't, yeah, it's a practice cause

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they don't, it's a science and everything

isn't always so black and white.

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And I really feel like having

a coaching practice is similar.

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And I like the point that you brought

out you touched on, and I think this is

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really important is that you can't, as a

coach, you can't always just assume that

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fault, if that's even the right word is.

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It's going to be on the client, like they

don't know what they're talking about.

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You need to, as a coach, be objective and

have enough emotional intelligence and

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professionalism to take the step and say,

please, am I understanding them enough?

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Because there's, is it that

they really feel this way?

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Are there extenuating circumstances?

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That's your job.

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You have to create an understanding for

yourself so that you know how to proceed.

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You can't always assume

because I'm going to say this.

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You and I are great coaches.

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I've seen you coach, heard you

coach, I know how you coach, and

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I think that you're a great coach.

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Do I think that you're perfect?

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No and I'm not either, but we have to

understand too, that as we're talking to

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this big audience, that there are people

who go into coaching and not that they're

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intentionally doing things wrong, but

not everybody's a great coach either.

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And maybe there are going to be

those people who Look at a situation

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and say, they're off their rocker.

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I did my best.

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I did this and this, I checked

all the boxes and this is on them.

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You know what I mean?

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Where they're creating a sense of blame

rather than looking at it and saying, wait

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a minute, let me look at this objectively.

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What happened?

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One of the practices that I got onto,

and this was the urging of a mentor.

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And it's a great practice.

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I don't do it on the daily, but at

the end of the week, I would I always

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look back on my sessions and say,

okay, what was my, what did I perceive

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as my greatest session and why?

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And how can I expand upon

whatever happened there?

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Something that, is it a skill set that

I can cultivate even more, but what was

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my most challenging session and why?

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Was it my energy?

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You know what?

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If I have something in my

life, I sleep at a situation.

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I don't know.

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Cause this was months ago.

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We were still working together.

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I fell down the stairs in the

morning and I had sessions and I

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was like, didn't break anything.

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I really felt like I got hit by a truck.

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So I really had to consider whether

I was going to be able to show up

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because I don't believe as a coach,

I don't believe in pushing through

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when there's something like that.

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Whether it's a death or something.

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So you really have to create that

opportunity for yourself to say, okay.

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Not, what did I do wrong or badly or

poorly, because this is all about positive

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and creating better habits and whatnot.

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But you have to make decisions sometimes

and separate yourself from the actual

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interaction and say, how did I show up?

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First foremost, I forget how

that person was mother effing me.

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How did I even show up?

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Did I say something in a way

or do something in some way

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that actually triggered that?

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Again, however you want to check your

own boxes, but I always start with me

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and I say to myself, what was my most

challenging session of the week and why

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and how did I show up to that session?

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That's the first question I asked

myself in the sessions that I deem

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or perceive as challenging is me.

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Not for self blame, not

for self victimization.

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Or assassination, right?

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I'm the coach.

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I am the pace car.

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I am the troll.

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Yeah.

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John: That client with the

list of grievances, I know

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that wasn't really about me.

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I was just a figure to blame

for stuff that was going on.

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But that doesn't mean that there weren't,

that there wasn't stuff for me to learn

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from that situation and that there weren't

things that I probably could have done.

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better in working with that client.

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Now, I think I've said to you before,

there were things I could have called

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out a bit more where I knew that

there was a bit of BS going on and

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the things maybe weren't quite as

wonderful as he was telling me they were.

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But I could have called that out more.

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I know that.

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So that was great.

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I learned something from that.

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But was it personal?

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The things I've been blamed for were

not things that I did or that I caused.

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No, it was lashing out.

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But was there something

useful to come from that?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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One of, one of my favorite books over the

years, and there are certainly good books

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in the world of personal development, and

there's not so good or awful ones as well.

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Plenty of those.

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One that I really like though

is called The Four Agreements.

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Do you know who Don Miguel Ruiz is?

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And there was The Fifth Agreement as well.

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Don't bother with that book.

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It's, in my opinion, The Fifth

Agreement is great, but the book is

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Super long and unnecessary, but the

four agreements, really wonderful book.

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And one of the four agreements

is don't take things personally.

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Great.

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These are all really great principles.

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So what it was like, always do your

best, be impeccable with your work.

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There's a really good

stuff to live your life by.

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And so don't take things personally

because it generally isn't about you.

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A feedback that you get is from someone

else in the position and the state that

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they are in when they give that feedback.

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It's not.

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Ultimately about you, even if the feedback

is directly seemingly about you, it's just

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very much about them and what they're,

what they want to project onto you.

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And so it really comes down to this whole

thing of projection to that, like nobody,

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nobody can, and we know this logically,

nobody can make you feel a certain way.

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Nobody can make you feel a certain way.

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We have to let them in

and allow them to do that.

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We choose the feelings that we have.

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It's tough because when there are

people that you're very connected to

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and you care about in your life, it

definitely seems like they can make you

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feel a certain kind of way sometimes.

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Angie: Usually because

they're striking a nerve.

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There's something there

that you have, right?

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If somebody is, if somebody actually,

and I'm going to air quote this makes

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you feel a certain way, there's some

like self reflection needed because you

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are already probably feeling something

there and they just click, I just hit,

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you bruise your arm and then all of a

sudden you keep hitting the same spot.

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And they're already,

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John: I approach saying this tentatively,

and I'll tell you why, because I

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have enough times in the personal

development world, seeing people

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weaponize that and say, I'm not making

you feel anything if someone say that

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I'm not making you feel anything.

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Oh, no, please F you, please control my

language as best I can in this episode.

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But seriously, that is weaponizing that

because then I'm turning up even more.

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You are intentionally pressing

somebody's buttons and we do

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have responses, conditioned

responses, emotional responses.

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We are emotional beings.

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that are likely to get

triggered and fired up.

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So you might not be making them feel

this, but you are causing a reaction.

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Angie: I think that some coaches play

it safe too around those spaces, right?

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When they, and I don't know what happened

with you and this person that you say,

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Oh, I probably could have gone in a little

bit more challenged a little bit more.

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But I think sometimes we

have to read the room, right?

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We have to maybe sometimes in that moment,

there's something that makes us say, you

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know what, today is not the day for that.

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And I'm not a believer in stepping around

or tiptoeing or circling the drain.

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As you all know by now, I pretty

much go right for it, but I do

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it in a way that's not abrasive.

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I go for it, but I also will read the

room and I can sometimes say, you know

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what, today's not the day for that.

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Why?

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Because even if I try to work on a

specific, whatever it is, challenge for

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them that, that I know they're having, if

their energy is off on that day, they're

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not going to receive the work anyway.

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So I'm going to focus probably more

on their energy and teaching them

369

:

how to like, you still be productive

when they're in that space than

370

:

what I thought the problem of it or

the challenge of the session was.

371

:

So it really depends on that.

372

:

But I also feel like too, on another

set of things is that there are complete

373

:

that we, there are things that we can

absolutely black and white control, right?

374

:

If somebody comes to you and

says, Angie, you're always an hour

375

:

late, I'm sorry, a minute late.

376

:

And I have a 16 minute call.

377

:

And then you end the

call three minutes early.

378

:

Like to me, that is very black and

white and you're not doing right.

379

:

You don't have good habits.

380

:

You're not prepared as a coach.

381

:

You need to be able to do those things.

382

:

But there's the subjective piece, your

perception and the perception of the

383

:

person that's in the session with you.

384

:

And I think that's why we, as the

coaches have to have that very objective,

385

:

we need to be able to do those two.

386

:

I talk about this a lot.

387

:

I feel like.

388

:

You need to be able to be conscious in

the set, present in that session, but

389

:

you also need to be able to keep your

eye on the over, or like that bird's

390

:

eye view of what's actually happening.

391

:

You can't just get lost in the moment.

392

:

You have to be able to gauge

things from a higher perspective.

393

:

Does that make sense?

394

:

John: No, it absolutely does.

395

:

And even then, I'm going to say

something that is very dangerous.

396

:

But I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that

my husband doesn't listen to the show.

397

:

So I'm taking a risk, I'm taking a

risk and saying this on the show,

398

:

but because like he's feedback a lot

before, but my husband particularly.

399

:

That doesn't take feedback well

and takes it often as an attack.

400

:

And I certainly find that, the

situation you were talking about,

401

:

Oh, maybe someone comes back to

you and says, Hey, you know what?

402

:

You consistently show up a minute late for

your sessions and you finish them early.

403

:

I feel like maybe I'm not

getting my money's worth.

404

:

You don't need to take that as an attack.

405

:

You don't need to say that personally.

406

:

Okay, I can weigh that up

and say, Hey, you're right.

407

:

That's fair.

408

:

I remember having feedback one time

that I was going and speaking with a

409

:

friend who was working in a shop and

the store owner came up to me and said,

410

:

you know what, I'm actually paying

them to work here and you're spending

411

:

all this time chatting with them.

412

:

Yeah.

413

:

I wasn't very happy about that

situation, but when I went out, I

414

:

was like, he's absolutely right.

415

:

My friend was responsible there as well

as knowing that they should be working.

416

:

But yeah, it's right.

417

:

It was their time.

418

:

I shouldn't have been so

socializing in that shop.

419

:

And I thought some people

might be okay with that.

420

:

This guy wasn't absolutely fine.

421

:

There was really no problem with that.

422

:

At first, maybe initially I felt a

bit attacked and aggrieved by it,

423

:

but when I went out no, he's right.

424

:

I shouldn't be doing that.

425

:

Have that.

426

:

To put the boundary in place.

427

:

And actually it wasn't mean about how

he approached it or anything like that.

428

:

So it was all very thick.

429

:

Sometimes we do take feedback

as being a personal attack.

430

:

And that's really what

we're talking about.

431

:

We're not taking it personally.

432

:

Just feedback does not

mean that it's an attack.

433

:

Making a statement does not always

mean that you're making a complaint.

434

:

And sometimes I'm definitely

an observational kind of guy.

435

:

I noticed everything that's

going on in my environment.

436

:

So I will mention things.

437

:

And again, some person, I'm out with my

husband and he'll say, stop complaining.

438

:

I'm not complaining.

439

:

I'm actually just observing and making

a statement about what I'm observing.

440

:

This isn't complaining.

441

:

It's really important to know the

difference because it's not me taking

442

:

any, I don't take this personally.

443

:

We all need to have that detachment.

444

:

There definitely was a time in my life

where I took everything personally,

445

:

I wouldn't get super emotional

about it or things like that, but

446

:

that time isn't now, not so much.

447

:

Angie: One of the practices that I

have in place, and I do this at the

448

:

end of all of my one to one sessions,

and it's not because I'm, I want to

449

:

be really clear here, I'm not looking

for the pat on the back and somebody

450

:

to praise me and bow and all of that.

451

:

But at the end of my sessions, I will

say, let me ask you, what did you

452

:

value the most from our session today?

453

:

And the reason that I do that

is because I want to understand

454

:

their perception of the call.

455

:

I know I want to understand it.

456

:

What did you value the most?

457

:

And I might change up the word, but

I usually say value because nine

458

:

times out of 10, I will say that the

response I get is, you know what,

459

:

Angie, I really needed that push today.

460

:

They're usually not going to

come clean and I'm doing the

461

:

check in and it's received.

462

:

It's very much appreciated that I'm

asking it and I'm, and I preface it, I'm

463

:

not looking for you to tell me, here's

the, we're going to light off rockets

464

:

and whatever, cause you're so amazing.

465

:

That's not it, but I need to understand.

466

:

I want to hear from them and

I always give them permission.

467

:

Like when I'm setting up the

boundaries and the expectations for.

468

:

Our relationship right over the net in

the course of our coaching relationship.

469

:

One of the things that I say is

I expect you to tell me what's if

470

:

something is off going on, right?

471

:

If there was like a death in the family

or something, if there's something that

472

:

has happened, I will take five minutes

at the beginning of a call and say,

473

:

what has anything like what's going on?

474

:

How was the week?

475

:

And I don't want the rundown of all

the things they did and I'm clear,

476

:

but I want to understand because.

477

:

That is going to tell me sometimes if

I don't do that when I wasn't doing

478

:

that, 10 minutes before the end of

the session, somebody might say to

479

:

me or has said to me, I'm so sorry.

480

:

I was really off today.

481

:

I had this really difficult conversation

with my boss or I'd had an argument

482

:

with my spouse or I found out my kid

was on drugs or somebody passed away.

483

:

And although I like to keep the

chit chat to a minimum so that

484

:

we're not just shooting the

breeze and have that expensive

485

:

cup of coffee that we talk about.

486

:

But I need to understand where they're at.

487

:

I need to know.

488

:

So that's going to give me an indication.

489

:

I do that check in.

490

:

At the end, when I ask them what they

valued in the session, that, or I even

491

:

might say, what was the most, I know

it was a really challenging session.

492

:

I will even put it right out

there and say, we had a lot of

493

:

challenging conversation today.

494

:

What was the most challenging for you?

495

:

And let them say, Oh, it was this.

496

:

Oh, so what are we going to do?

497

:

Okay.

498

:

What will you do between now

and next session to relieve

499

:

that pressure a little bit?

500

:

I go into coaching about it

so that they don't even really

501

:

think about what I did wrong.

502

:

I'm still proactively

looking to dig with them.

503

:

So I think there's a lot of things

that we can do, practices that

504

:

we can put into place as coaches.

505

:

So that we're less in that line of fire

where we would take things personally.

506

:

That's the bot.

507

:

Even if somebody says, you know

what, you were a minute late today.

508

:

Our natural reaction to something is I

was in the restroom and I like, whatever

509

:

we go into the excuses and justification.

510

:

And then maybe later it's

even what they're right.

511

:

This is a very expensive session.

512

:

And even if it wasn't, they're still

investing the time they're here on time.

513

:

I need to be here on time.

514

:

Okay.

515

:

I think that's

516

:

John: important.

517

:

That's one, one thing I always

aim to never do is make excuses.

518

:

Angie: Yeah.

519

:

I'm

520

:

John: not saying, I'm not saying

that's always the case, but I'm a

521

:

big believer in not making excuses.

522

:

If I've messed up, I'm going to apologize.

523

:

I'm not going to make excuses.

524

:

You sure

525

:

Angie: are.

526

:

John: Yeah, I've messed up.

527

:

Angie: Absolutely.

528

:

John: But I would much rather, if I've

had the situation where once I couldn't

529

:

get to my office on time because there

was a big parade going through the city

530

:

and most of the roads were blocked off.

531

:

I agree with that.

532

:

Yeah, I didn't know that.

533

:

And it's okay.

534

:

That is my really I could I

have been prepared for that.

535

:

I possibly could.

536

:

I could have actually taken a look at

what was going on or even ask Google

537

:

if there's any local events going on.

538

:

I could have done that.

539

:

And I didn't do that.

540

:

It's still my, it's still back when I used

to work in the airline, if I was late for

541

:

a flight, he, if I was stuck in traffic

for three hours, which did happen to me

542

:

one time, I left what was usually a 30

minute journey turned into just over three

543

:

hours because of an accident on the air.

544

:

They said to me, it's still your

duty to be here in, in good time.

545

:

And even if three hours is

more than good time, my excuse

546

:

doesn't count for anything.

547

:

Cause that flight's still gone without me.

548

:

That's the reality of it.

549

:

And it's not.

550

:

It's not about me taking it personally,

because I think we do have this tendency

551

:

to beat up on ourselves about this stuff.

552

:

It is just feedback, ultimately,

and it's feedback that you can

553

:

improve from or you can ignore it.

554

:

So that's it.

555

:

Have you ever done?

556

:

I think

557

:

Angie: that's the choice that you, I

think that's the difference in what

558

:

we're talking about is if you want

to get out of the habit, if you are

559

:

somebody like you said, Oh my God,

I used to take everything personally

560

:

back in the time there was a time.

561

:

And maybe there are people

listening to us who would like.

562

:

Yeah.

563

:

That kind of is me.

564

:

Somebody might say, Oh,

what'd you do to your hair?

565

:

What do you mean?

566

:

What's wrong with my hair?

567

:

Yeah.

568

:

Like nothing.

569

:

I'm just asking.

570

:

It looks different or it looks this or,

but there are people who are, I call

571

:

that cat on a hot tin roof syndrome.

572

:

Think about it, jumping around and being

almost like responsive and reactive

573

:

without really assessing and processing.

574

:

And I think that's a really good first

step as a coach is to properly and.

575

:

Objectively, look at that moment and

say, okay, again, like I said, for

576

:

me, it's how did I show up today?

577

:

What was the big challenge?

578

:

What was my perception?

579

:

And do I even know what the

issue was with the client?

580

:

That's why I always ask at the end

and I leave about five minutes.

581

:

So what did you value today?

582

:

Because it does.

583

:

It always leads to a little

bit of a conversation.

584

:

Again, so I have perspective

and understanding for

585

:

what was most challenging.

586

:

Sometimes I'll ask, I don't

like the why, because I don't

587

:

know, do we always know why?

588

:

We don't always know why, but sometimes

I'll ask why or what really, what did

589

:

you find most challenging and keep

asking until we get to the core of that.

590

:

Which helps you understand

that it really isn't about you.

591

:

Get over yourself.

592

:

It's not about you.

593

:

John: You touched on something

earlier that I want to come back to

594

:

and go a bit deeper into because you,

you touched on this thing about it

595

:

relates to not really being about you.

596

:

It's like the whole thing of why we

don't need to take it personally.

597

:

If I say something to you, if

I say to you, I hate your hat,

598

:

Angie, I really hate your hat.

599

:

You're going to go, I'm not wearing a hat.

600

:

What the heck?

601

:

Are you going to take that personally?

602

:

You just know, you're just

going to think I'm nuts.

603

:

But if I say to you, those

glasses really don't suit you.

604

:

You might take that a bit.

605

:

And I don't mean that because they look

really lovely, but you might take that

606

:

a bit more personally, just because.

607

:

If it hits a note, here we go,

changing the glasses, we're

608

:

getting the sparkly ones now, yay.

609

:

Angie: I knew if we were going

to do it, you knew I was going to

610

:

definitely Elton John you, go ahead.

611

:

Better, but go ahead.

612

:

John: I love them,

they're just as gorgeous.

613

:

And, the whole thing of, you're only

going to take it personally if it hits

614

:

a note, if it touches you in that way

it's our insecurities that help us to

615

:

take things personally, and so if we

don't feel insecure about something,

616

:

We're not going to take it personally.

617

:

If I say to you, Angie, you're a

shitty coach and you're terrible at

618

:

coaching, you're not going to take

that personally because it's not true.

619

:

You're just going to think,

yeah, what do you know?

620

:

What the heck are you

621

:

Angie: talking about?

622

:

No, I don't believe it to be true,

but I'm curious as to what you

623

:

perceive as why I'm a shitty coach.

624

:

John: If it doesn't resonate with you, if

it doesn't feel like it's right about you,

625

:

then you're not going to feel it that way.

626

:

But what you were saying was interesting

because one of the things that I, a

627

:

trainer, say one time at an event that

I was there to learn from, somebody

628

:

stepped onto and it was rude and cheeky,

I think it was meant as a joke, And

629

:

his response was, why did you say that?

630

:

I thought he definitely felt

a bit attacked by it and maybe

631

:

he wasn't completely sure.

632

:

So he said, why did you say that?

633

:

I think it was a great thing to say is

that it was a good response to that.

634

:

Like, why did you say that?

635

:

What was your intention?

636

:

Because you did, that is

what you have to look at.

637

:

And sometimes when you say something

like that, someone like, what's

638

:

your intention in saying that?

639

:

So yeah, it was a really great

response to say, what's your

640

:

intention in asking me that?

641

:

Why do you ask me that?

642

:

Because it really gets people to

think about what they're saying.

643

:

I was hearing something on a podcast I

think the other day of somebody, when they

644

:

felt in that kind of situation, saying Say

that again to me because when somebody has

645

:

to say it again, they have to reconsider

what they've just said and often Yeah,

646

:

so that was also great Is that thinking

it is important that just even in saying

647

:

those things But there's always gonna

be that instant emotional reaction and

648

:

we're probably not gonna be able to avoid

that to some degree it's like somebody

649

:

cuts you up in traffic You're gonna stick

your finger up at them and call them

650

:

some beautiful names Probably and hope

that your mom's not sitting next to you

651

:

in the car like that Happened to me last

year, but going on from that, I usually

652

:

shake that off and let it go and then

wish them better driving in the future.

653

:

I don't want to carry

that negativity with me.

654

:

I don't want somebody doing something

stupid that they're probably not

655

:

even aware of, or maybe they're

just being an a hole intentionally.

656

:

To ruin my day.

657

:

Why should they get to ruin my day?

658

:

Why should I carry that with me?

659

:

And that really is your being an effect

in your life rather than being a cause.

660

:

And that's why I'm not

taking things personally.

661

:

Is it personal?

662

:

If somebody cuts you up

in traffic, probably not.

663

:

You

664

:

Angie: in a session now,

let me ask you a question.

665

:

If you are sitting there as a

coach, I've mentioned what I do.

666

:

Oh I'll take that pause.

667

:

And I might have one of.

668

:

Probably a half a dozen questions

that I've asked when I've been in

669

:

those kinds of situations in a moment

or at the entire session, but like,

670

:

how do you save it if you are in a

session and somebody is saying to you.

671

:

I say to you, you're my coach, John,

I'm not really sure why you feel

672

:

compelled to keep talking about this.

673

:

I feel like you're really,

are you coming at me?

674

:

Like you're bringing up this very

sore subject over and over for me.

675

:

And I was pretty clear.

676

:

I don't really want to

talk about this anymore.

677

:

Why are you doing that to me?

678

:

What would you say?

679

:

How

680

:

John: would I handle

681

:

Angie: all

682

:

John: that?

683

:

I would go straight to asking questions.

684

:

What is it that's making you feel

uncomfortable or attacked about this

685

:

and where do you want to go from here?

686

:

Is there something that you don't

want to approach that we should

687

:

be leaving alone for now and maybe

come back to when you feel ready?

688

:

That's where I'd want to go with it.

689

:

If you get into a position where

you're trying to defend or justify.

690

:

Yourself.

691

:

You've already pretty much lost.

692

:

Angie: Absolutely.

693

:

You've lost control.

694

:

You've

695

:

John: lost the relationship.

696

:

Yeah.

697

:

Angie: Absolutely.

698

:

Absolutely.

699

:

But I had another situation, I'm

thinking about this particular person.

700

:

She was a client, I don't know, about

five or six years ago and she was in

701

:

a really heavy relationship and heavy,

and in my opinion, even somewhat

702

:

abusive, borderline, borderline and

she was all about the space that I

703

:

opened up for her and talking about it.

704

:

And when we hit kind to our next

session, and this was pretty early on.

705

:

So I think it might've been like

our third session that came in

706

:

and said, how are you feeling?

707

:

Since our last conversation,

because it was very heavy.

708

:

Okay.

709

:

I'm just saying this.

710

:

It was very heavy.

711

:

deeply emotional for her to,

and she was already in therapy.

712

:

So I didn't have to go push her into that

direction or direct her into that space.

713

:

But I wanted to know how she felt because

she was really, and I just, and the

714

:

question was, so since our conversation,

how are you feeling about that admission?

715

:

Cause that's what it was.

716

:

And she literally lost her mind

because I was, I felt like that

717

:

was a really pivotal moment for her

of strength and also uncertainty.

718

:

So there was clarity for her and

then there was uncertainty and that

719

:

uncertainty is what she brought into

this next session and lost her mind.

720

:

How dare you?

721

:

Why are you focusing?

722

:

I don't really feel like this is

what we should, isn't it enough

723

:

that I already talked about it

and told you where I was at?

724

:

I And I had to, sorry, something

was trying to fly in my mouth.

725

:

That was a pivotal moment with her.

726

:

And I had, I let her go for a minute

because I wanted to understand,

727

:

obviously, I think I knew right out

of the gate, truth is uncomfortable

728

:

for people sometimes, and I have

to recognize that as a coach.

729

:

And even though I might admit

it, I might want to take it back.

730

:

It's like the email when you're like,

let me tell you how I feel and you

731

:

send it, you're like, Oh, maybe I

shouldn't have done that remorse.

732

:

So I let her speak for a few, and

then I really had to say, so and

733

:

let, I, I need to interrupt you.

734

:

I need to respectfully interrupt,

and I just would like to

735

:

take a pause for a minute.

736

:

Just do me a favor, take a deep

breath, because I'm now just,

737

:

I'm focusing on her energy.

738

:

Because nothing I say, nothing I ask

is going to have a positive outcome

739

:

if I keep now asking her like, what

makes you feel that way or whatever,

740

:

even with the best of intentions.

741

:

So I know that because she's so

energetic behind the negative, that

742

:

I have to pause her to say, just do

me a favor as your coach, just take

743

:

a minute, take a couple of breaths.

744

:

Because I do want to understand,

but I can't understand when

745

:

it's coming at me in that way.

746

:

Yeah.

747

:

Yeah.

748

:

You do have to be able to pull

something out of your pocket in

749

:

the moment and deal with things.

750

:

And say, okay, what do I need to do here?

751

:

John: In that Yeah, I think I've

probably one time I've had a

752

:

situation like that and it was

early year on in my coaching days.

753

:

And I think I did then what

I would do now, which is let

754

:

them go, let them have at it.

755

:

Because if we get to the end of the time,

and they're still going, we just say,

756

:

Okay, we need to end the call now anyway.

757

:

But really, what I really what I

want them to do is let it all out.

758

:

And Have a breath, and then,

all right, can we talk now?

759

:

That's generally what I'm going

to do, is spit it all out.

760

:

Because what I really don't want

to do, and I think I've had a coach

761

:

do this with me, and I don't get,

I'm not an angry person, generally.

762

:

It takes a heck of a lot.

763

:

I'm very, Calm and I'm in a peace guy,

most of the time, and I haven't helped

764

:

anyone who's in the way, but it's rare.

765

:

I could probably even count on

one hand the amount of times

766

:

I've lost my temper in my life.

767

:

It's so rare.

768

:

And not that I feel like

I have to bottle stuff up.

769

:

That's just my nature.

770

:

The, I think one of the worst

things you could do that somebody

771

:

did with me on a coaching session

is say, I'm sorry if something I

772

:

said is making you feel like this.

773

:

Angie: Absolutely.

774

:

John: What kind of apology is that?

775

:

That's like the sort of political

apology and mistakes were made.

776

:

If the correct thing to say is we made

mistakes, or what you said actually I

777

:

found offensive or hurtful or whatever

else, I think that's probably one of

778

:

the worst things you could say is to

make that sort of kind of fake apology

779

:

is, I'm sorry that you feel that way.

780

:

Because that's what it's saying.

781

:

Angie: Have

782

:

John: you

783

:

Angie: ever apologized?

784

:

Have you ever apologized to a client?

785

:

John: Yes.

786

:

Yeah.

787

:

I think it came up on a

call before, actually.

788

:

I think I had to apologize to some

clients who I felt that, a handful of

789

:

clients where I felt that the coaching

boundary wasn't right and that we

790

:

couldn't, that we couldn't recover it.

791

:

I said an apology of this is on me as

much as anything else that I've allowed

792

:

this to happen or work together when we

probably shouldn't be working together

793

:

because there isn't a sufficient.

794

:

Yeah.

795

:

I think in that sense, yeah,

I'm going to take ownership.

796

:

If I feel, yeah, if I can, I have

to, I'm going to take ownership,

797

:

but in a situation where somebody

is ranting or raving or blaming

798

:

you for something, probably is.

799

:

No, I'm not going to apologize for that.

800

:

But if it's something that I know,

so yeah, if it's like, Oh, you showed

801

:

up late for your coaching session.

802

:

Yeah.

803

:

Okay.

804

:

I own that.

805

:

I apologize.

806

:

I'm going to do better.

807

:

It's like that.

808

:

What else can you do?

809

:

So yeah, I will own my mistakes.

810

:

But I'm not going to apologize to stuff

I haven't done, or that a lot of coaches

811

:

Angie: hide from too though, getting

feedback, because they don't want to know.

812

:

I think they feel like if they open

up the platform or the floor for that,

813

:

that it gives people the opportunity

to like, nitpick or maybe look for the

814

:

tiny pieces that aren't that relevant.

815

:

John: We all love the feedback that says

how good you are and blows my cup, your

816

:

backfires and say, oh, you're fantastic.

817

:

You're the best coach I've ever had.

818

:

We all love that.

819

:

We can all take that kind of fear.

820

:

And it's like some people maybe

do get a little uncomfortable

821

:

being given positive feedback.

822

:

I know, but most of us are quite happy

in our coaching careers to have clients

823

:

come and tell us how good we are and how

much they love the coaching and all that.

824

:

Angie: Do you take that personally?

825

:

If you get positive feedback, do

you, on the other hand, on the other

826

:

side of this, take that personally?

827

:

John: Ooh, what an interesting question.

828

:

Probably.

829

:

Okay, so that's interesting.

830

:

Yeah.

831

:

It is interesting, but I

don't, I'm very wary of letting

832

:

stuff like that go to my head.

833

:

Very wary about it, but I'm happy.

834

:

I think I take it personally in the sense

of I'm happy that they feel that way,

835

:

that they're happy with the coaching.

836

:

Do I then think I'm the

most amazing coach ever?

837

:

No, I don't.

838

:

No, I'm just the coach who happens

to be with them and I tend to think.

839

:

So yeah, yes and no.

840

:

That's a yes and no sort of answer.

841

:

Angie: I think that I, I don't as well.

842

:

I think especially when it's.

843

:

At the end of it, just say they're

coming to the end of their program

844

:

with you and it's the last session.

845

:

I always wanted to be

about coaching always.

846

:

And any of my students or past clients,

whatever that maybe hear this episode,

847

:

they will definitely attest to that.

848

:

I never want somebody to.

849

:

move forward with me or even

refer me because they like me.

850

:

So if somebody, if we get to the last

session and I'm wrapping things up and

851

:

doing this review that I do, it's a whole

phase that I do a process that I follow.

852

:

And we talk about what could be next?

853

:

What are you still feeling challenged?

854

:

Like, where do you still feel challenged?

855

:

And would you like to move

forward and do some more coaching?

856

:

I get, and however I say it,

it's not always like that.

857

:

Bye.

858

:

When I've had plenty of people go,

Oh my gosh, Chanty, I love you.

859

:

Of course I want to.

860

:

And I'm uncomfortable because

I'm like, wait a minute.

861

:

So I will always, no matter how they

phrase it, sometimes it's no and for

862

:

whatever reasons and that's fine.

863

:

Most of the time it's yes.

864

:

Most of the time it's yes.

865

:

So when it's yes, I say to them, so no

matter what, tell me what it is that

866

:

you makes you want to move forward.

867

:

You love me, but let's focus on

your coaching and your outcomes.

868

:

All right.

869

:

What do you love about me?

870

:

What do you love?

871

:

I, again, need to understand their

perspective of coaching and the

872

:

relationship we have and time to kind of

circle that back and say, okay, then how

873

:

will that benefit you in another round of

coaching with me, I always want to keep

874

:

them in that mindset of it's not about me.

875

:

It's about you and it's about the journey.

876

:

John: Because in reality

it is, and that's great.

877

:

I really like that.

878

:

Angie: Yeah.

879

:

John: I really like that approach.

880

:

We could all do probably a far better job

of getting feedback or reaching out for

881

:

feedback and not just the good feedback.

882

:

We don't just need to hear the

nice things people say about us.

883

:

That's what I was going

to ask you earlier.

884

:

If you've ever done Toastmart,

have you ever been to the night?

885

:

Toastmasters is a public speaking

organization, international, most

886

:

people are going to have a Toastmasters

club somewhere pretty near them.

887

:

So you can go along, and this

isn't a promo for Toastmasters,

888

:

but I have been involved with them

over a number of years and may do

889

:

again at some point in the future.

890

:

But when you go to a session, you can,

if there's a guest, you can get involved

891

:

in what they call table topics, which is

like an improv thing that they start with.

892

:

And if you're a member, you can do

prepared talks and things like that.

893

:

But everyone is going to get feedback.

894

:

Whether you're doing the improv or

whether you're doing the prepared talk,

895

:

you're going to get feedback from people.

896

:

And some of that feedback is going to

be good and telling you what you've done

897

:

well or that they really enjoyed it.

898

:

Some of that feedback is going

to be developmental feedback.

899

:

It's oh, this could have gone better, or

this bit didn't seem to go so well, or

900

:

maybe it seems like you lost your flow,

or you're talking a bit too quickly,

901

:

or maybe you need to use a little bit

more vocal variety here and there.

902

:

Sure.

903

:

Kind of things that you're probably vocal,

904

:

Angie: right?

905

:

Whatever it is.

906

:

John: Hopefully, but still hard not to

take personally when you put like heart

907

:

and soul into a, an eight minute talk that

you're delivering to a group of people.

908

:

And if you think it's, I think

it's going to amaze me and

909

:

then you get to do your best.

910

:

Oh yeah.

911

:

But the thing is, without that,

you do not get the same level of

912

:

growth, but you, there's only so

much feedback you can give yourself.

913

:

And there's only so much believing

in yourself is going to happen.

914

:

We need the developmental stuff.

915

:

We need the critical feedback that

says, actually, this bit wasn't so good.

916

:

Some of these bits were, we

could, we need a mix, really.

917

:

We need to know what we've done well,

and we need to know what's, where

918

:

there's room for improvement and

perhaps what didn't really work because

919

:

otherwise we can't improve what we do.

920

:

And same as in coaching and in most parts

of our lives, we're often afraid to get

921

:

that kind of real feedback because we

do tend to take feedback personally.

922

:

And it's not, it's absolutely essential

that we get that feedback from

923

:

people and use it in order to grow.

924

:

So we need to develop a little bit of a

tougher shell sometimes around getting

925

:

feedback from people and not be like,

Super sensitive about these things and I

926

:

think the only way we can get better at

receiving that kind of feedback is to open

927

:

ourselves up to it on a regular basis.

928

:

Angie: So funny because I'm sitting

here thinking about what you're

929

:

saying and where I do that in my life.

930

:

You all may not know yet.

931

:

Maybe some of you do because I talk

about it a lot, but I love to cook.

932

:

Love, love to cook.

933

:

And I'm not a big recipe person.

934

:

If somebody hands me a

recipe, I'm immediately.

935

:

I don't even know why I do it because

I restructure the whole thing and

936

:

think about how I want it to look,

taste, feel, texture, all the things.

937

:

And it's so funny because I've had

people like, I set the table, so

938

:

to speak, I work really hard on

preparing whatever it is I'm preparing.

939

:

And I always say, so how is it?

940

:

And Oh my gosh, it's delicious.

941

:

It's this and it's that.

942

:

And it's funny because I just

realized about myself, I never

943

:

asked people like, really, what

makes it taste so delicious for you.

944

:

But if somebody says, Oh, you know what?

945

:

And it's usually, I will say the person,

the male person closest to me at the

946

:

moment, my husband will say sometimes,

and it's, if he says something like

947

:

it's a little too salty for me, I'm

usually like, yeah, I think I was a

948

:

little heavy handed with the sea salt

or something, if it's you should.

949

:

And he'll start telling me

how to remake this recipe.

950

:

And I look at him and

I'm like, who asked you?

951

:

And he, you did.

952

:

So it's funny how I'm realizing

that I do not ask people when

953

:

they say something is delicious.

954

:

What was made, what

was delicious about it.

955

:

That's first, that's a good moment for me.

956

:

But the other thing is

that I'm not really open.

957

:

Like I find myself going, I did that

because like I already knew and I'm

958

:

like prepared and So it's funny.

959

:

I do it less with my coaching, I

think, than I do with my cooking.

960

:

If my cooking is so authentically

like me and my creation and my kitchen

961

:

becomes like the laboratory, if you will.

962

:

But it's just interesting.

963

:

And I think that the habit or the

mindset, I shouldn't say the habit, the

964

:

mind that is, and I use this a whole

lot in my coaching, you've heard me

965

:

talk about it, the Henry Ford Approach

to things while he was competing in the

966

:

very beginning, he was competing with

GM, he had no money, they were rich,

967

:

and he literally had this philosophy.

968

:

While he was sitting and looking

at his creation, his very first

969

:

automobile, he didn't look at it and

go, I'm using this as an example,

970

:

like what's wrong with the steering?

971

:

He looked at every component,

drove it, drove the vehicle and

972

:

thought, what should I do better?

973

:

It was never, which he was known for.

974

:

Anybody who was interested,

go look at the documentary.

975

:

It's Matt.

976

:

It's fascinating.

977

:

But he literally looked at it like, this

is great and I can still make this better.

978

:

This isn't so great.

979

:

I need to make this better.

980

:

And it wasn't that it was wrong, it

wasn't that it was negative in any way,

981

:

but we're certainly not all driving

the very first car that was ever made.

982

:

Why?

983

:

Because improvements were made.

984

:

And there's always Better safety features

like everything every industry grows.

985

:

We need to be of a growth mindset And

I think if we can keep ourselves in

986

:

that mindset, we will be better for it.

987

:

Even when we cook just saying

988

:

John: Hopefully our personal development

stretches into all areas of our lives

989

:

and very few of us are so complex

Compartmentalized in our lives that

990

:

we are completely different and it

all merges in one way or another.

991

:

But yeah, absolutely.

992

:

As much as we can talk about not taking

things personally, I think, what I

993

:

mentioned before about you're always

going to have your instant emotional

994

:

reaction to things, your instant response.

995

:

You cannot control that.

996

:

No matter how much you don't want to

take things personally, your initial

997

:

emotional response is going to

come up and it's going to be valid.

998

:

And that's why it's so important

to take, be able to take a breath,

999

:

take a beat, take a step back, to

decide how you want to go next.

:

00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,930

Because it really is not taking

things personally is more of

:

00:48:55,930 --> 00:48:57,450

a decision than anything else.

:

00:48:57,780 --> 00:48:57,810

It's

:

00:48:57,810 --> 00:49:01,590

It is, you have to just, you have to

decide not to take things personally.

:

00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:04,790

Sometimes we have to really talk things

through and work through, sometimes it

:

00:49:04,790 --> 00:49:09,695

can take us a bit longer to process stuff

as we've By being over a recent fact.

:

00:49:09,695 --> 00:49:09,875

Sure.

:

00:49:09,995 --> 00:49:12,785

And not take that to get past,

not taking that personally.

:

00:49:13,035 --> 00:49:13,995

But we get there.

:

00:49:13,995 --> 00:49:18,345

We generally get there, but it is always

that decision of not going to take

:

00:49:18,345 --> 00:49:20,655

this personally, but which I learned.

:

00:49:21,155 --> 00:49:25,335

Angie: Some shift that mindset

be, have a higher level of

:

00:49:25,335 --> 00:49:27,405

control over your responses.

:

00:49:27,565 --> 00:49:28,735

And it is emotional.

:

00:49:28,815 --> 00:49:32,055

And it definitely is contributing

to like emotional intelligence.

:

00:49:32,105 --> 00:49:35,335

I think having that mindset of

it's not wrong, it's not bad.

:

00:49:35,495 --> 00:49:37,615

It's just what can change

and what can be better.

:

00:49:37,965 --> 00:49:41,745

You're setting yourself up for

great success and having, if you

:

00:49:42,065 --> 00:49:44,835

take that approach, you'll be

able to have, I think, ultimately

:

00:49:44,835 --> 00:49:47,565

better ceptions and more referrals.

:

00:49:47,575 --> 00:49:49,395

It's just great for business too.

:

00:49:49,625 --> 00:49:50,565

It all trickles.

:

00:49:50,565 --> 00:49:52,075

It has a cascading effect.

:

00:49:52,635 --> 00:49:52,945

Yeah.

:

00:49:53,245 --> 00:49:53,755

Awesome.

:

00:49:54,595 --> 00:49:57,175

John: I think we've covered a

lot of good stuff on the show.

:

00:49:57,815 --> 00:50:00,265

I always love our conversations,

Angie, they're so cool.

:

00:50:00,635 --> 00:50:05,745

And I think we can now reveal what is

coming down the pipeline, so to speak.

:

00:50:06,085 --> 00:50:07,185

We are pulling back the

:

00:50:07,185 --> 00:50:07,725

Angie: curtain.

:

00:50:08,530 --> 00:50:08,890

John: We are.

:

00:50:08,890 --> 00:50:12,140

We're going to be, we're going

to be coming live with the

:

00:50:12,140 --> 00:50:14,365

show on LinkedIn and YouTube.

:

00:50:14,835 --> 00:50:18,565

For now maybe some more platforms in the

future, but certainly linkedin and youtube

:

00:50:18,565 --> 00:50:22,695

there'll be details about that on those

platforms So certainly if you want to join

:

00:50:22,695 --> 00:50:27,425

us live for the coaching clinic podcast,

we'll have information on the platform So

:

00:50:27,425 --> 00:50:31,975

follow either of us on linkedin or follow

the channel on YouTube, you'll find the

:

00:50:31,975 --> 00:50:34,525

links in the show notes for this episode.

:

00:50:34,525 --> 00:50:38,495

So please do make sure feel free to

connect with us and also to connect

:

00:50:38,495 --> 00:50:40,215

with the followers on YouTube as well.

:

00:50:40,795 --> 00:50:44,385

And we'll be coming to you live

and real and you'll be able to

:

00:50:44,385 --> 00:50:48,075

interact with us, you will be able

to submit questions and responses.

:

00:50:48,745 --> 00:50:50,695

So we're so excited to

interact with you as well.

:

00:50:50,695 --> 00:50:52,375

So we are very excited about that.

:

00:50:52,415 --> 00:50:57,475

And in the meantime, You can still get in

touch with us and leave, you can contact

:

00:50:57,475 --> 00:51:01,285

us on social media, but certainly you can

leave us a voicemail and it's free to do.

:

00:51:01,315 --> 00:51:02,935

You can go to speakpipe.

:

00:51:02,985 --> 00:51:07,745

com forward slash the coaching clinic

podcast, leave us a voicemail and we

:

00:51:07,745 --> 00:51:09,095

might just feature it on the show.

:

00:51:09,545 --> 00:51:13,115

And for now, we're going to look

forward to coming to you live.

:

00:51:13,365 --> 00:51:17,135

You're still going to get your regular

Wednesday episodes of the show.

:

00:51:17,445 --> 00:51:20,185

But if you want to get ahead of the beat

and actually want to interact and ask

:

00:51:20,185 --> 00:51:24,925

questions and be a part of this with

us, then come and join us on LinkedIn

:

00:51:24,925 --> 00:51:26,165

or YouTube, and we'd love to see you.

:

00:51:26,445 --> 00:51:27,355

Angie: Looking forward.

:

00:51:27,635 --> 00:51:28,375

Bye for now.

:

00:51:29,275 --> 00:51:30,100

Bye everyone.

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About the Podcast

The Coaching Clinic
The HEart of Coaching from learning to client sessions, starting to scaling, we've got you covered.
She's direct and he's diplomatic but Angie and John are both successful coaches with years of coaching experience and very different delivery styles.
Each episode will tackle a different coaching problem from both styles of coaching, with occasional guest coaches and audience interaction. We're going to have some fun digging into your biggest coaching challenges and helping you become an even better coach.

About your hosts

John Ball

Profile picture for John Ball
From former flight attendant to international coach and trainer, on to podcaster and persuasion expert, it's been quite the journey for John.
John has been a lead coach and trainer with the Harv Eker organisation for over 10 years and is currently focused on helping his clients develop their personal presentation skills for media and speaking stages through his coaching business brand Present Influence.
He's the author of the upcoming book Podfluence: How To Build Professional Authority With Podcasts, and host of the Podfluence podcast with over 150 episodes and over 15,000 downloads John is now focused on helping business coaches and speakers to build a following and grow your lead flow and charisma.
You can now also listen to John on The Coaching Clinic podcast with his good friend and colleague Angie Besignano where they are helping coaches create sustainable and successful businesses, and the Try To Stand Up podcast where John is on a personal and professional mission to become funnier on the stage and in his communication.

Angie Besignano

Profile picture for Angie Besignano
With early beginnings as an entry-level manager in the sales industry, Angie has spent more than 3 decades building her knowledge and expertise to create her master coaching and speaking brand, AngieSpeaks. After climbing the professional ladder, she started her own company and decided to focus her practice on High Performance Coaching. In doing so, she challenges individuals to elevate and grow, no matter what level they are at currently in their personal or professional lives.
Angie has created a strong following through her “tough” but “pragmatic” approach and challenges her clients to find the space that is holding them back the most. In doing so, their outcomes not only compound, but take root, so that results can be permanent. The tools she provides work in the “real” world and show up in their first interaction.
Angie has an unwavering passion toward the journey that fosters a true transformation for those that work with her. She delivers her content and speaking engagements with an authentic enthusiasm and curiosity that creates trust and rapport, allowing for a heightened experience.