Coaching with Confidence: Embracing Mindset Shifts and Client Feedback

Angie: 00:00:00

John,

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John: Angie.

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Angie: how are your coaching

sessions going this week?

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John: Oh, great.

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So far.

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Thanks for asking.

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How are you?

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Angie: Pretty good, though I'm

concerned I might not have made the

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best impression with a new client.

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John: Have they said anything to

make you think that's the case,

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Angie: Well, not so far, but things

got a little, I don't know, they got

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off to a rocky start when we had some

challenges coordinating our calendars.

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John: but the client hasn't

said anything about this, right?

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Angie: Not yet.

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No.

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John: I'm guessing they haven't

asked for a refund either.

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Angie: Thankfully, no, they haven't

asked for a refund, but my goal is

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to gain their respect from the start.

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John: Sure.

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Should they respect you as a coach?

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Angie: Well, that's one of

our goals as coaches, right?

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John: Yeah, of course,

but nobody's perfect.

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Angie.

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Sometimes rocky starts lead to

great coaching relationships.

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Angie: Exactly.

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I needed that.

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Let's start the show.

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John: Hey, look, it all

starts with mindset, right?

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How many times have you

heard that in your life?

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It all starts with mindset.

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Angie: yeah, I don't think I started

to really understand or grasp

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the whole concept of coaching.

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how mindset affects us as coaches.

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we're so worried about the mindset

of our clients that sometimes

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we forget about ourselves.

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We make things up even.

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Yeah.

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John: I figured it today.

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We might be able to touch on both of

those things, but primarily wanted

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to focus on mindset for coaches

and how we show up in our coaching

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sessions and how important that is.

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And It was something

for me that I feel like.

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I left a chance i've talked before

in episodes in recordings we've done

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about how My sort of general feeling

about coaching would only ever be as

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good as my last session And that was

really part of the whole Leaving this to

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chance like how many of us in our lives?

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Have set the parameters around what's

good and what's not and then how we

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Should feel according to that so that

we end up making the times that we feel

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good becomes very conditional, that we

have to tick the certain boxes, we can

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only feel good in these sorts of times,

we only get to feel good about ourselves

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as coaches when we tick these boxes.

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That's often what it feels like and

it took me, I think part of it was

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like the experience of getting past

this was partly the experience or

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just gaining experience but also

partly was working on the mindset.

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Angie: Yeah, I think that's a great

point is that, if we put too much

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focus on Well, how did each per to each

independent session go and let that

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dictate how we see ourselves as coaches?

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We're not going to last as

coaches for sure, right?

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Because inevitably there's going to be

sessions that are great and you have to

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decide what a great session looks like.

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And then there's going to be sessions

where, maybe it's not so great.

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Maybe there wasn't some

Titanic, breakthrough.

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So we can't let that we can't walk

away from each of our sessions going.

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This was good.

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This was bad.

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This was good.

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This was bad because we put ourselves

on an emotional roller coaster.

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So, what's the healthy mindset?

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For us as coaches so that we

can navigate through that.

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And I had this conversation

with somebody just yesterday.

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And I just, it was a conversation

with a friend that was,

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Hey, how's everything going?

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And he said, well, it's

like being on a kayak.

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Now I don't kayak.

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So I was like interested.

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I'm like, what does this even mean?

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And he's sometimes the river

is flowing and it's great.

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Sometimes it's really this.

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And, I always used to

pray for the calm waters.

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And But what I realized is what I needed

was a great paddle and a great helmet.

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So that kind of resonated with

me, even though I'm not a kayaker.

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Because I feel like as coaches,

we really do need that.

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Like we really need to just

be as prepared as we can be.

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For whatever the outcomes are.

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John: Yeah, that metaphor would

have worked with me because I

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love kayaking, but I absolutely

would have resonated with that.

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I know it is.

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Angie: you.

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John: Thank you.

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It is so it's so essential and it's a big

part we miss a lot of what we're talking

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about in life is, and really this is the

heart of personal development as well.

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Being at cause in our own life rather

than being an effect of what's going

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on around us and that really is what my

part of what mindset comes into because I

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always now think of it in terms of growth

and fixed mindset as well like carol

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dweck's book mindset great book but when

you understand the difference between

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a fixed mindset that feels limited and

Mistakes mean you'll become less than

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every time Then a growth mindset where

mistakes are opportunities for growth

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instead, and everything is expansive.

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That's a huge difference, and one

that I think absolutely needs to know.

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We need to work with that with our

clients, but often we need to remind

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ourselves of that as coaches as well.

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It's I've, I, you've probably

had this as well, but I certainly

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had coaching sessions that I

have thought that didn't go well.

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And maybe have even Probably even had

ones where i've actually apologized

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to a client said hey, I don't

think that session went very well

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I said, what are you talking about?

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That was great.

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Absolutely what I needed.

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I loved it And it's like well

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Angie: I

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John: We judge We judge things based on

we judge things based on Our projections,

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a lot of the time, what we thought should

be a good session, it might actually

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still have been exactly what they needed.

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I've never really had a an incident

where except my very early days as

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a coach, where someone has come back

and that hasn't been a good session

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and I've had to agree with it,

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Angie: I'm going to be honest.

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I haven't had that.

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Although I've had, I told you,

I think we've talked about

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this even in earlier episodes.

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I've had one or two clients that I think

were difficult and Because we were getting

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it right because we were hitting the right

places, they began to feel threatened

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and scared and wanted to run away.

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That's been more of my experience,

but I think my mindset.

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Has not always been in the

right place because I have been

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so focused on delivery, right?

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I have to be great.

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I have to make this good.

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I have to, and I had to, excuse me, I had

to, what I really had to do was get out of

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that space and just allow for the session.

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Because I think if you go into it with

too much emphasis on, I'm really going

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to extract from them today or, with

any kind of expectation, actually.

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You're really doing a disservice to

yourself, to your client and to the

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session and to the overall outcomes that

can present and within, even in the long

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term of working with you as a coach.

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So, but that took practice, right?

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That really took a lot of practice.

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And when I think back to My earlier

days as a coach I'm laughing now.

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I'm thinking to myself, gosh, I don't

think Oh gosh, Angie, you sucked.

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That wasn't it.

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But I was not as tuned in, I think,

as I am now, as I've trained myself

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to be, because I was very disconnected

and looking too much at is it good?

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Is it good?

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Is it good?

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Well, what's good?

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Stop.

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Right?

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What you think was great might

scare the bejesus out of them.

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Right?

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And what you just said makes

all the sense in the world.

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You're like, hey, let me apologize.

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And they're like, for what?

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That was really great.

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So.

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Yeah, we the mindset.

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So what do you let me ask you

this then if they're like, what is

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the mindset that you now utilize?

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You're more experienced as a coach.

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So do you actually set a mind?

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Do you set yourself up before a session or

have you just become like this different

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personality when you're coaching now?

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Yeah

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John: a degree that I have my

coaching persona, like this is my,

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this is who I am when I'm coaching.

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And it's a little different,

not vastly different.

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It's not like a completely

different alter ego.

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And I'm certainly not, well,

as far as I'm aware, I'm not

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schizophrenic or anything like that.

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I don't have a multiple

personality disorder or anything

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like that, that I'm aware of.

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So it's a slightly, we all have slightly

different versions of ourselves.

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We all have that and so there is a

mode that I go into when I'm coaching.

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And one of the reasons why I'm

particularly aware of doing that is

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because I used to find myself being

in coaching mode when I was outside

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of coaching sessions sometimes.

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and had to switch it off because

it was making me into a bit of an

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arsehole in certain situations of

trying to be a coach when people

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weren't wanting me to be a coach.

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No, I learned that very quickly, but

it's like sometimes that coaching

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mode does need to be switched off or

I need to stop analyzing people whilst

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I'm talking to them as well, because

I'm not really having a conversation.

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I'm, Analyzing them which isn't really

ideal for being present for being fully

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present in that kind of, one to one

personal conversation with a friend.

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So I do slip into that.

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It used to be a bit more, I think there

was more of an intentionality or rituality

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about it in earlier days where I had

to set my intention for each coaching

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session and get myself into that.

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Mode in place before starting

my sessions for the day.

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That it happens naturally

now So so experienced in it.

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I just slip into it I would compare it

to like when i'm speaking on stage No,

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I have my ritual for how I want to feel

when I go on stage and I still do it to

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some Degree, but even if I don't do It's

still automatically programmed into my

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brain now of like how I show up on stage

And how I have a similar kind of thing

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Angie: I think it's important.

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I'm going to pause you there because

I think it's important for everybody

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who's listening to understand that it

is part like what I said about who I

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was in the beginning versus now, right?

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Because I hadn't figured out

who I was yet as a coach.

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I had the skills.

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I had the tools even.

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But I wasn't quite there.

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So what you're speaking to is I know

who I am now and I can, I love that

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you said I can just slip into it.

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And I think that's what people need to

realize is it is going to take practice.

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And I'm going to be honest, there were

times where I thought I was delivering.

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I can look back now and think of

specific clients in the very beginning.

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Where I was literally just coaching

them, back before I was an actual coach

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and I'm air quoting right now, right?

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I did a lot of, I was a trainer

and that was very, it felt very

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different, but it wasn't right.

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Different persona there.

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So when I started coaching and I

was acting more like a trainer, I

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thought I was doing a great job,

but I wasn't doing a great job.

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Right.

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Cause it is a little bit of a different

dynamic and an energy that you bring,

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but I love how you like identified that.

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So there is the idea.

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That you as a coach, you

have to identify who it is.

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You want to be as a coach, right?

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And be that persona and it's going to

take practice and it's not something

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that I think you can just say, well,

I want to be this kind of a coach.

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And then I'm going to be it.

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I think it starts to come.

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You learn that about yourself.

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As you are experiencing more, diverse

people, right, clients and doing more

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sessions because I am certainly not as

a coach now who I thought I was going to

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be if I created a vision of coach Angie

in the future, what did she look like?

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She doesn't look, she didn't look

like who she, who I actually am.

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And that's not a bad thing.

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It's a great thing.

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So I have to laugh too.

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I have to point to this.

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Yes.

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I too had to step out of let me save

every person in every conversation.

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But that was also part of because of

who I was, it was just naturally coming

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to me that I wanted to be a coach.

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You and I had a conversation, what a

week or two ago, you were coaching me.

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Right.

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You weren't just being like, well, as

a friend, let me ask you, there was

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an absolute shift where you start.

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I felt it where you started to coach me.

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So it's good that we're

able to do that almost.

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And if I wasn't trained as a coach.

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I wouldn't have realized that

you went into coach mode.

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So that tells me, Hey, by the

way, John's a really good coach.

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I'm just telling you he's good at that.

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John: But also it because I remember

that conversation very well.

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I was testing the water to make

sure that was okay before I

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did go into that coach space.

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So even though I didn't outright

say that I was like just testing out

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as is this where you want me to go?

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Which we did.

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Angie: Yeah.

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So I think it, yeah.

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And I think it's important, right.

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And just to remember that when you first

start out, you don't know who you are yet.

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And even if you've been doing it for a

while, what would you say to coaches that.

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Who I want to say this.

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I think a lot of people

prepare for sessions.

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I think I've heard a lot of

coaches that if I ask them,

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what are you doing in a day?

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They'll say, well, I have to

prepare for my sessions and I

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say, well, how do you prepare?

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And they're mostly doing like energy work.

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They're mostly like breathing or, they're

doing something that's a physical and

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a little bit of a mental like clearing.

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Okay, that's great.

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But then what?

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How are you preparing for your session?

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So, like, how do you slip in, right?

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What would you say to people who

have been doing it for a while

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to check in on their mindset?

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What would you say to them?

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John: I think it really only needs to

be as simple as raising a little bit of

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conscious awareness around how you're

feeling right now What's going on for you?

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Am I in the right mindset?

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Is this how I want to be

showing up for my coaching call?

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How am I showing up?

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How did I show up on my last call?

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Was I did I show up in

the way that I wanted to?

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Is that how I want to be seen as a coach?

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Is that who I would want to be?

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Coached by and the way that I would want

to be coached myself so so I think there

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are just questions you can ask yourself

for clarity and for a little bit of

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conscious awareness around that can start

to bring that up because one of the one

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of the things I think was like whether

there was maybe a kind of perfect coaching

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mindset I don't think there's one.

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I think there's probably a number

of them, but they're probably asked

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elements mindset elements that are

relevant to You Most, if not all of them.

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And, we've often talked about, being

really present in the course as well.

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But this is about being present with

yourself as well to understand how

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you are showing up and what you are

putting out there energetically.

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There are coaches who are a bit wham bam.

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Thank you, ma'am.

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Angie: Well, listen, you definitely

feel like you're on an assembly line.

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I've been coached by people

and I've observed coaches.

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Who are very, I don't even know, like

they're connected, but disconnected.

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And if that client hasn't had previous

experience with a coach, that might be

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fine, but then when they experienced

somebody like me, right, or you,

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where it isn't a wham, bam, it isn't

a here you're on a conveyor belt,

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you're on an assembly line next, next.

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Eventually people get to know that.

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And that's what I just

wrote down the word.

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Cause I didn't want to forget

while you were speaking.

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Although this isn't exactly about mindset,

it is, and essentially it is that you

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have to be consistent in how you show

up every time you speak with a client.

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I learned that only a

few years ago, actually.

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Not that I learned it, I would say,

but I had an awareness moment because I

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was, I had just suffered a family loss.

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There was a death in the

family, like the day before.

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And I thought, well, I can do my sessions.

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It'll be okay.

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And when I got on the call with

my first client of the day, he was

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like, Angie, as soon as I, I said,

Hey, so and so, how are you today?

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And went through the quick.

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Angie, I'm sorry.

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He's is everything okay?

318

: 00:17:08

You don't sound like yourself.

319

: 00:17:09

And I was like, Oh crap.

320

: 00:17:11

I was like, no, actually I feel fine.

321

: 00:17:13

Like I realized I wasn't bringing it.

322

: 00:17:15

I know it's not exactly what we're

talking about, but when you say

323

: 00:17:18

talk, when you talk about that,

because they your clients are going

324

: 00:17:22

to get to know you as the persona.

325

: 00:17:26

So if you're not being consistent, if you

can't bring the same energy in session

326

: 00:17:31

six that you were bringing in session two,

three, four, five, one, two, three, four,

327

: 00:17:35

five, you probably need to check yourself.

328

: 00:17:38

Right.

329

: 00:17:38

So that I know that's a little

left of where we're going, but.

330

: 00:17:42

John: No, I get where

you're going with that.

331

: 00:17:45

I'll let you finish your thought.

332

: 00:17:47

Angie: no, it was just simply

that's a that's the start.

333

: 00:17:50

That's the starting for me.

334

: 00:17:52

The piece for my mindset

is where am I right?

335

: 00:17:57

It's not just the overview of

who I think I am as a coach.

336

: 00:18:02

I don't allow the outcomes of my sessions

to dictate who I think I am as a coach,

337

: 00:18:08

or what value I bring as a coach.

338

: 00:18:10

I disallow that because that, again,

is going to create a roller coaster,

339

: 00:18:17

and it's not, it's most of the

time, it's not really even true.

340

: 00:18:22

John: You have to take the bigger picture

341

: 00:18:23

approach.

342

: 00:18:24

But I will just say this as an aside.

343

: 00:18:28

And this is certainly for

people who do group coaching.

344

: 00:18:31

Don't have your mobile on display

where you can see it whilst

345

: 00:18:34

you're on a coaching call.

346

: 00:18:36

And I say this from personal experience.

347

: 00:18:38

I was partway through a group coaching

call one time when I got a text

348

: 00:18:42

message that my grandfather had died.

349

: 00:18:45

And it's okay, we weren't that close to

stuff like that, but it still shook me.

350

: 00:18:50

And it distracted me enough from

the call that as I was able to

351

: 00:18:53

carry on and deliver, but it was

just like, I wish I hadn't seen

352

: 00:18:57

that message until after the call.

353

: 00:19:00

Seeing it 30 minutes later would

not have made any difference

354

: 00:19:03

to the outcome or to me.

355

: 00:19:05

But, just saying that sometimes allowing

ourselves to be not saying that's the

356

: 00:19:08

messages that are going to pop up for you,

but Is just the things that help us to

357

: 00:19:12

be present and stay in the right mindset.

358

: 00:19:14

There are things that can easily take

you out of being present and take

359

: 00:19:18

you out of being in the right mindset

to conduct your coaching calls.

360

: 00:19:23

Angie: Yeah,

361

: 00:19:23

John: think about if I think about

optimal mindset for a coach I do think

362

: 00:19:28

we should be in growth mindset ourselves

And we should be able to be expansive

363

: 00:19:35

because we need to have that view for

the clients as well We take if we're

364

: 00:19:40

taking the bigger picture in with them

overall because we're not just viewing

365

: 00:19:44

them session by session slice by

slash We're taking the bigger picture

366

: 00:19:47

Angie: Yeah.

367

: 00:19:48

John: We should do that with the, with our

view on our sessions with them as well.

368

: 00:19:51

It's it's not just slice by slice.

369

: 00:19:53

It's the whole sessions, the whole

time that you get to work together with

370

: 00:19:57

them is the journey of transformation.

371

: 00:20:00

So if there was something you missed

or something you fluffed or something

372

: 00:20:03

you didn't say as well as you want

to guess what you've got another

373

: 00:20:07

shot at it on your next session.

374

: 00:20:10

Angie: I think that's the growth

mindset for me in that space is, I

375

: 00:20:15

think I've said this in other other

times we've spoken, I've said that

376

: 00:20:19

I will assess myself on the daily.

377

: 00:20:22

I will assess myself at the end of

the week and say, which one, which

378

: 00:20:25

was my greatest session this week.

379

: 00:20:28

And why do I think it

was the greatest session?

380

: 00:20:30

Because honestly, That's my opinion and

it may not be the opinion of the clients.

381

: 00:20:36

However, I still need to self

assess no matter how much I can slip

382

: 00:20:42

into the persona and just coach.

383

: 00:20:44

I could coach on a dime at this

point, but I still need to keep myself

384

: 00:20:52

what's the word I'm looking for?

385

: 00:20:54

I need to keep myself accountable,

and that's how I stay in a growth

386

: 00:20:59

besides reading books, besides

attending, spaces where I can go

387

: 00:21:03

learn some new technique or something.

388

: 00:21:06

I'm always doing that, but I feel

like that my real growth comes

389

: 00:21:12

from me being able to be objective.

390

: 00:21:14

And be able to look and say, okay, so

what could I have done even better?

391

: 00:21:19

No matter how good it is, no matter

how great the session has been or the

392

: 00:21:23

experience with a specific client,

it's well, what can be better than

393

: 00:21:27

what could I expand on, right?

394

: 00:21:29

If something works, let's expand on it.

395

: 00:21:32

What isn't really working?

396

: 00:21:33

I've had to adjust myself.

397

: 00:21:35

I've had to eliminate certain even

topics from my sessions because

398

: 00:21:41

they're just not really helpful.

399

: 00:21:43

And I'm seeing a theme.

400

: 00:21:45

And again, that doesn't

mean we're getting it wrong.

401

: 00:21:47

It's part of being in for me, that growth

mindset of I need to expand as a coach.

402

: 00:21:53

Otherwise people are going to get sick

of hearing the same things over and over.

403

: 00:21:57

John: For our listener who's

maybe earlier on in their coaching

404

: 00:22:00

journey, or maybe even just Getting

ready to move into this area.

405

: 00:22:04

There are always going to be situations

even later on in your coaching career

406

: 00:22:10

where there will be coaches who you

feel are better than you or coaches

407

: 00:22:15

who have more knowledge than you.

408

: 00:22:16

But that's not really the case

necessarily that they're, that they

409

: 00:22:20

are better, more knowledgeable.

410

: 00:22:22

They will have different experience,

different strengths, different

411

: 00:22:26

knowledge bases to pull from.

412

: 00:22:29

That doesn't invalidate what you do or

who you are Unless you choose to let it

413

: 00:22:34

do so, then we'll often, it's often said

comparison is the thief of joy, right?

414

: 00:22:39

It's also the thief of confidence to a

great degree with coaches particularly,

415

: 00:22:45

that if we are comparing ourselves

to people who are at the top of the

416

: 00:22:49

game, or maybe they've just really

dialed in their message and marketing

417

: 00:22:54

so ideally that they've they're rising

up to the top, Become famous for

418

: 00:22:58

what they're doing, perhaps they've

taken a different approach to you.

419

: 00:23:02

Doesn't mean you couldn't

have that necessarily.

420

: 00:23:04

It just means this is different.

421

: 00:23:07

You shouldn't still undervalue your

coaching, but if you haven't progressed

422

: 00:23:12

in your learning from what you very first

learned on your first coaching program or

423

: 00:23:16

your first coaching book or however you

got started here, then there is something

424

: 00:23:21

to address there because we should

always not just be in a growth mindset.

425

: 00:23:25

But actively growing as well in

terms of our, in terms of our

426

: 00:23:29

learning and what's available.

427

: 00:23:31

If someone if someone teaches a, or

someone's using a framework that we

428

: 00:23:34

haven't come across before, we just

did a whole episode on frameworks.

429

: 00:23:38

Someone's created a framework,

you think that's really powerful.

430

: 00:23:40

That could be really useful to me.

431

: 00:23:41

Might not be what you base your

whole coaching on, but it could

432

: 00:23:44

be an advantageous tool to

have in your coaching arsenal.

433

: 00:23:48

Great, go and learn that framework.

434

: 00:23:50

But if you think that your coaching is

not enough because you don't have that

435

: 00:23:55

You are undervaluing yourself and you

are perhaps in a fixed mindset Then

436

: 00:23:58

you're thinking well my coaching isn't

as good as that or my coaching isn't

437

: 00:24:01

enough And the reality is I think to me

Anyway, you can make a difference with

438

: 00:24:08

the people you work with and help them

get to where they want to get to And

439

: 00:24:12

deal with some of the stuff that they're

dealing with on the way You have a lot of

440

: 00:24:16

value to give your coaching is valuable

to the people who you're working with

441

: 00:24:21

Angie: Yeah.

442

: 00:24:21

I think that what you're

saying is absolutely true.

443

: 00:24:26

And I think that what I would

add on to that is that you cannot

444

: 00:24:31

as a coach look for a grade.

445

: 00:24:35

Like a specific finite Oh, I would

give myself a five out of 10 on this.

446

: 00:24:41

I really think that if you are in a

growth mindset, you take that pressure

447

: 00:24:46

away from yourself and you give yourself

the opportunity to just do and be

448

: 00:24:50

better the next time and be honest.

449

: 00:24:53

Don't overly pat yourself on the

back and say, gosh, I'm the queen.

450

: 00:24:57

I did that.

451

: 00:24:58

I rocked that session Okay,

not that you don't do that.

452

: 00:25:02

If you have a if you have a difficult i'm

not gonna lie I'm not gonna bs people if

453

: 00:25:06

I had if I have a difficult client and

they are really you know put like it's

454

: 00:25:13

like pulling teeth with them and then

finally There's that submission and they

455

: 00:25:19

finally let it out or let it happen.

456

: 00:25:23

I'm like, hanging up the phone or turning

off the zoom or walking out of the room,

457

: 00:25:27

whatever, and going, yes, finally, right?

458

: 00:25:30

And I don't necessarily go,

well, you did that, Angie.

459

: 00:25:33

What a great job you did.

460

: 00:25:35

I don't grade myself like that.

461

: 00:25:38

I'm just happy that it happened.

462

: 00:25:40

And then I might go back and say, was

there anything I did differently today?

463

: 00:25:44

Or has it been, sometimes

you just don't know.

464

: 00:25:47

Sometimes you just don't know

like what the thing is that

465

: 00:25:50

you said or did that day.

466

: 00:25:53

lets it happen for a client.

467

: 00:25:55

And with that being said, you

therefore can't judge it based on

468

: 00:26:01

your outcomes with them based on

anything specific except just saying,

469

: 00:26:05

you know what, it worked today.

470

: 00:26:08

Now, where do I go?

471

: 00:26:09

Now that we've opened up this gate.

472

: 00:26:11

Now, what can be next with this client?

473

: 00:26:13

That's really what keeps you

away from that grading system.

474

: 00:26:18

I don't go for that.

475

: 00:26:20

John: You, in reality, you don't always

know the impact that you make with your

476

: 00:26:25

clients in the sessions, especially if

you do group coaching and group training.

477

: 00:26:31

I have had clients come

back to me years later

478

: 00:26:34

To say that there was a big impact

shift then that wanting to work with

479

: 00:26:38

me one on one because they did group

Coaching or training with me years ago

480

: 00:26:42

that has happened to me so many times

And it's well, I may not even remember

481

: 00:26:48

them because I've worked with so, I've

literally worked with hundreds and

482

: 00:26:52

thousands of people from across the world.

483

: 00:26:54

I don't always remember anyone.

484

: 00:26:55

And people I've worked with one on

one, definitely more so, although,

485

: 00:26:58

I'm over 50 now, it's my, my recall

for people isn't what it used to be.

486

: 00:27:04

Angie: Truth.

487

: 00:27:05

Hashtag truth.

488

: 00:27:07

John: Here's a question for you though.

489

: 00:27:09

Do you have a mental image of who you are?

490

: 00:27:16

Like you as the ultimate version of you.

491

: 00:27:18

How are you showing up as Angie 2.

492

: 00:27:20

0 as super coach Angie?

493

: 00:27:24

Do you

494

: 00:27:24

Angie: I don't think that I do.

495

: 00:27:26

No, you know what?

496

: 00:27:27

I think that I'm being honest.

497

: 00:27:31

Like the answer to that is, is no,

but it, and it's not because I think

498

: 00:27:36

there's no goal set around that.

499

: 00:27:39

I think I look at it in the

smaller steps all the time.

500

: 00:27:42

I stopped doing that.

501

: 00:27:44

I think I just, for me, I just look

at it and say, am I giving the best?

502

: 00:27:49

Am I as prepared as I can be?

503

: 00:27:51

Am I giving the best to each

client and each session with

504

: 00:27:55

that client, with those clients?

505

: 00:27:57

And still delivering the value.

506

: 00:27:59

Right.

507

: 00:27:59

So no, like I don't know.

508

: 00:28:03

I don't think at this point, if you

said to me, what would your, be your

509

: 00:28:06

goal as a coach next year personally?

510

: 00:28:10

Right.

511

: 00:28:10

Not gaining more clients or yeah.

512

: 00:28:13

John: Do you think you would have

had that earlier on in your coaching?

513

: 00:28:16

Because I think I did earlier on,

maybe just had images of people who

514

: 00:28:21

I really looked up to as coaches

and I wanted to be more like.

515

: 00:28:25

Angie: It's interesting because I'm

probably I'm going into the weeds.

516

: 00:28:30

Get ready.

517

: 00:28:31

But when I imagined when I thought

about when I became an actual

518

: 00:28:35

coach, I was looking at speakers.

519

: 00:28:39

I was looking at I

attended a Tony Robbins.

520

: 00:28:42

I attended a Connie Podesta.

521

: 00:28:44

These were people that

were influential for me.

522

: 00:28:47

And I really was more in

looking into that space.

523

: 00:28:52

I never, I imagined myself.

524

: 00:28:54

On the stage as a speaker, but I never

imagined myself In that higher place

525

: 00:29:01

as the coach and what that would look

like So it's funny that you bring that

526

: 00:29:04

up because the answer is the same now

Because you're asking as it was back then

527

: 00:29:10

Yeah, I that one's a little bit tough

for me because I don't have a vision Of

528

: 00:29:15

what the next would be for me in coaching

529

: 00:29:19

John: Let me ask you this then, are there

coaches you know of who you would at

530

: 00:29:25

least like to be a bit more like them?

531

: 00:29:26

And if not, like you don't want to be

single white female kind of thing, but

532

: 00:29:30

you there are aspects of who they are

or how they show up or what they do that

533

: 00:29:33

you think I would like to be able to do

that or I'd like to be more like that.

534

: 00:29:37

Yeah.

535

: 00:29:42

Angie: honest answer is the people

that I've experienced, and I think

536

: 00:29:46

I've had to be careful, right?

537

: 00:29:48

If I see somebody, and it's a bigger

name that is a coach, and I watch little

538

: 00:29:54

blips and blurbs of them talking on like

social media and whatever, I definitely

539

: 00:30:02

Love the energy of sometimes of the people

who can just say it the way that it is.

540

: 00:30:08

And what I had to be mindful of is

that I couldn't just take that and put

541

: 00:30:14

that into my own coaching because those

people have earned their wings already.

542

: 00:30:19

And I don't necessarily have that,

that street cred yet, if you will.

543

: 00:30:24

So I've had to be careful of that.

544

: 00:30:26

I'm actually having some again,

but I think all the people that

545

: 00:30:28

were coaches that turned speaker,

that's how I see them now.

546

: 00:30:32

So yeah, I think it's just, I think the

thing that attracts me to any coach is

547

: 00:30:41

there, the ability of that coach to just

call it out, say it the way that it is.

548

: 00:30:48

And I think, me, right?

549

: 00:30:50

Oh, you're the tough coach and all

of that, but I'm also a very loving

550

: 00:30:54

and compassionate coach, right?

551

: 00:30:56

I'm not just somebody who's get over it.

552

: 00:30:58

This isn't like the military.

553

: 00:31:00

But I do aspire to be able to

be even more real with people,

554

: 00:31:06

like calling it out real.

555

: 00:31:08

John: Yeah, I certainly have some

coaches who I respect greatly.

556

: 00:31:14

And there are aspects of them that

I would like to be, or that I would

557

: 00:31:18

strive to be more like, or try to

558

: 00:31:20

Angie: I'm so curious because I'm,

like, I'm not, I'm struggling to answer

559

: 00:31:24

the question because everybody that I

know that's a coach is also a speaker.

560

: 00:31:28

So I'm always looking at

them as the speaker, right?

561

: 00:31:30

So, who?

562

: 00:31:32

John: same.

563

: 00:31:32

And I do want to do an episode on.

564

: 00:31:36

Coaching and speaking at some

point as well because I think

565

: 00:31:38

it'll be an interesting chat.

566

: 00:31:39

One is a lady called Carrie Wilkerson

she is an amazing speaker, but

567

: 00:31:43

she's also a really awesome coach.

568

: 00:31:45

And she does, I don't think she

does huge amounts of one to one.

569

: 00:31:49

I did have the privilege of being in

group coaching with her for a while.

570

: 00:31:53

And and she's just an

incredibly good coach.

571

: 00:31:56

She's motivational.

572

: 00:31:58

She's warm.

573

: 00:31:58

She's uplifting.

574

: 00:32:00

She has that mama bear

cut approach to coaching.

575

: 00:32:04

And she's very good at saying what needs

to be said in that motherly Caring way

576

: 00:32:10

that's get off your butt and do it.

577

: 00:32:12

So yeah, I love that.

578

: 00:32:13

I love that's the whole style of

it and Certainly aim to be a little

579

: 00:32:18

more like that in stuff that I do,

but i'm never going to be Carrie.

580

: 00:32:21

Carrie's Carrie on me.

581

: 00:32:23

There are

582

: 00:32:23

Angie: you don't want to be Carrie, right?

583

: 00:32:25

John: No, I don't want to be

584

: 00:32:26

Angie: Ball, right?

585

: 00:32:26

John: I don't want to be her.

586

: 00:32:27

I just recognize that there are aspects

of who she is and how she shows up that

587

: 00:32:31

I want to emulate and be more like.

588

: 00:32:33

And I think that she probably has had

people like that on her journey as well.

589

: 00:32:36

I know she worked with Bob

Proctor for a long time as well.

590

: 00:32:39

And and I think also, I'm saying Bob

Proctor and I think it was actually

591

: 00:32:45

Zig Ziglar who she worked with.

592

: 00:32:47

Zig Ziglar.

593

: 00:32:48

So, she was well grounded in

the industry and with the right,

594

: 00:32:51

with great mentors as well.

595

: 00:32:53

And I think that's a huge part of

it, but what she makes me think of,

596

: 00:32:58

and probably the other people who I

do look up to as coaches, and it's

597

: 00:33:00

just a handful, honestly, it's just

a handful of people but how they show

598

: 00:33:04

up energetically is so important.

599

: 00:33:06

The energy that they come onto

their calls with the feeling that

600

: 00:33:10

you get when you're around them.

601

: 00:33:12

And that can only really happen

if they're intentional about that.

602

: 00:33:15

And it's this is who they're

choosing to show up with.

603

: 00:33:18

They're not leaving it to chance.

604

: 00:33:19

They are deciding that they have their

coaching persona, the coaching style

605

: 00:33:23

and know who they want to show up as

and how they want to be with people.

606

: 00:33:28

So I think.

607

: 00:33:29

your points about the questions,

the reflecting on how you've been

608

: 00:33:35

showing up and what you've been doing.

609

: 00:33:36

And that's really the only way you can

pick up on that and grow for the future.

610

: 00:33:42

Angie: I think that something you just

said like opened a door for me when

611

: 00:33:47

I think about my past experiences as

a coach and what value that, that if,

612

: 00:33:54

cause I always ask, what did you value?

613

: 00:33:56

There were about a session

or the entire journey.

614

: 00:33:59

The thing that people say about me,

Each and every time is that I really

615

: 00:34:05

connect to them as a human, right?

616

: 00:34:06

Cause I think that some people that

are new to having a coach, or maybe

617

: 00:34:11

they've had a business coach before,

when they come into coaching with me,

618

: 00:34:15

the thing that they experience is that

there's nothing really magical about it.

619

: 00:34:20

Right.

620

: 00:34:20

It feels almost conversational and

it doesn't feel threatening and it

621

: 00:34:25

doesn't feel like all of a sudden

they're like, what is this wizardry

622

: 00:34:29

that you're, breaking into the

session and creates a sense of calm.

623

: 00:34:35

It creates a sense of wanting

to be vulnerable and truthful.

624

: 00:34:40

So.

625

: 00:34:41

That's the energy space.

626

: 00:34:43

And I think that is myself,

like what I'm drawn to.

627

: 00:34:46

I don't love watching people.

628

: 00:34:48

I've been trained by people that

are all about creating the illusion.

629

: 00:34:54

And I'm not about creating

illusion, not one bit.

630

: 00:34:57

I'm about creating a reality and

that I think is the difference.

631

: 00:35:01

Do you know what I mean?

632

: 00:35:02

Like it's, I'm not

looking for some topical

633

: 00:35:05

answer.

634

: 00:35:07

John: I love what you just said.

635

: 00:35:07

I think this is the sort of point

where we will, where we'll wrap this

636

: 00:35:11

up, but I think so, it's so powerful

to ask yourself these questions, be

637

: 00:35:14

intentional about how you're showing

up and be able to start creating more

638

: 00:35:19

of a consistency about how that is,

get the feedback from your clients, get

639

: 00:35:23

your own feedback on yourself as well.

640

: 00:35:25

Take time to think and reflect on things.

641

: 00:35:28

And because it is that combination

that's going to help you

642

: 00:35:30

develop in those sorts of ways.

643

: 00:35:33

And maybe have a look at the people

who you do, maybe are ahead of you on

644

: 00:35:37

the journey or people who you look up

to as coaches and what are their sort

645

: 00:35:39

of qualities or the ways they show up

that you can learn from and maybe even

646

: 00:35:44

embody to some degree in your practices.

647

: 00:35:47

But I think it's all powerful things.

648

: 00:35:48

Love to hear about any other thoughts

that you may have on mindset.

649

: 00:35:51

You can reach out to us on LinkedIn.

650

: 00:35:52

You'll find it always find us there and

you can leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.

651

: 00:35:57

com forward slash the coaching clinic

podcast that we would love to hear from

652

: 00:36:00

you, even if you have rude things to

say to us, especially if you have read

653

: 00:36:04

things to say to us and and we might

just feature you on the show, but in

654

: 00:36:09

the meantime thanks for listening in

and we'll be back next week with more

655

: 00:36:13

good stuff from the coaching clinic.

656

: 00:36:15

Angie: Bye for now.