Reclaiming Influence: Beyond the Superficial Social Media Stereotype

John: 00:00:00

Angie,

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Angie: John?

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John: are you an influencer?

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Angie: Ha.

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At home I am.

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You can just ask my dogs.

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John: I mean more online

like social media influencer,

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Angie: Oh no.

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Not until I get my teeth whitened.

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A spray tan.

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Getting those photos ready.

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John: Angie, I think it's time we

reclaimed the word influencer and talk

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about what it really means to have

online influence and how to do it.

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Angie: I like where this is going.

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Let's open up the coaching clinic.

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John: The doors are open.

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And Angie, we're talking about

influence and influencers and we

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probably have this concept in our

minds now of what an influencer is.

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What do you think of when

you hear the word influencer?

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I.

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Angie: It's so funny 'cause I

know we talked about this and

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I feel how do I explain this?

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I'm not articulating well yet, but I feel

like the influencer is that person who

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really just, that's what they're doing.

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They're focusing on the influencer

part of it without as much I feel

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like substance to a specific cause.

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It's quick hits.

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It's less to me.

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And I am going to get, we're

gonna get hate mail over this.

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John: I feel you may be hitting on

the head some of my thoughts about

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this as well, that I probably think

more when I hit the word influencer

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of the more superficial side of

social media, which is all about

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image and not really about substance.

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And so it is like having those perfect

white teeth and perfect hair and big

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smiles and perfect life and all of that.

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And I think that word has been, influencer

has been associated with that for so long.

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I hope that's starting to change and

I certainly would want to be a part of

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trying to reclaim the word influencer to

mean something that it should, because

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at the moment all it really means is

someone who has a big online following.

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Really, that's essentially it.

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They have a lot of followers on social

media that makes them an influencer

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because they have potentially

influence over the audiences that

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are following them on social media.

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Angie: Yeah.

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I think the word I was fey

for earlier was superficial.

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And listen, and that's not to stay, right?

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So we're not right John, we're not

here to bash that, that space, because

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John: look, hot people can stay hot.

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That's fine.

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We'll let them, we'll give them that.

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If you're hot and you're getting

followers because of that, you carry on.

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Angie: Absolutely.

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I mean there's definitely some merits to

that if that's the space that you're in.

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For example I love to cook

and I have been thinking about

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doing, like cooking with Angie.

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I go by Coach Angie.

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I.

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Andrew speaks and all the

things, but I love to cook.

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My husband is constantly chasing me

around with a phone in the kitchen

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and he's look at all these people.

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You make better meatballs than them.

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So that would be me being an

influencer, maybe in the cooking space.

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But I feel like, in the coaching,

in the speaking space, that is

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not at all how I want to be.

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Received or perceived, honestly.

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I wanted to have a little

more guts to it than that.

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John: I would tune into watching making

meatballs, but maybe that's 'cause I know

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you and I would certainly like to know

what goes into Angie's Meatballs, but I.

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it comes to being an influencer online I

don't think the whole Instagram influencer

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thing is quite as big as it was.

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And certainly hot people are always

gonna get followed because they're hot.

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They're always gonna have people who

are checking 'em out, whatever else.

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Just because they're attractive or they're

fun or whatever else, and that's fine.

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It's like there's a place for that.

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There really is, but it shouldn't tarnish

what is going on in terms of professional

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influence or having more stuff going on

and having a bit more substance to what

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you do, and having something to say and

the social media platforms can really be

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that, that one of the things that I found

is if you, but look, let me ask you this.

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Would you want people to be following

you just 'cause you're hot and sexy?

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I.

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Angie: Hey.

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John: Would you personally want

that to be the only reason really

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that people are following you?

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Angie: Absolutely not

because it has no sustenance.

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Then I'm only as good as

the last greatest thing.

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I did.

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That's my positioning on that.

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I want there to be real value, but

again, I think that's why I don't

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look at myself as an influencer.

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And it was very difficult.

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I struggled with, even everybody's

been telling you for years, you

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need to start making videos.

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Years ago, first speaking gig I

ever did, they asked for my, do

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you have any videos on YouTube?

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And I was like, no.

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I just didn't I didn't, I felt

maybe what a lot of people feel

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that there had to be the image that

came before the crux of what I was

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doing instead of building the image.

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I definitely did not.

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Look at it the way most

people do nowadays.

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Now it's like commonplace.

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Back then I resisted it.

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I wanted nothing to do with

social media in that way.

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Nothing.

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Who knew?

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John: However I would not want the

only reason for people to follow

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me online to be because I'm hot and

sexy, even though I am obviously,

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Angie: You are so sexy.

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If you could see John's hair today.

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John: It.

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My, I'm quite happy with

my hair this week for once.

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But yeah, I wouldn't want it to be the

only reason that people are following me.

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But just realistically there is

like this inherent bias towards

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people who are more attractive and

we get even more conditioned toward

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that with TV and things like that.

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So we do have to compete with that.

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But I think one of the ways we do that.

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And it is perhaps on the more superficial

level is by looking the part we should

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look like we reflect who we want to be.

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The brands that we have, we need to

pretty much look like, alright, you

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know what you're talking about it's all

part of creating, and I'm not gonna say

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this as an illusion, but creating this

perception of competence and of being.

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Now if you go one, one of the reasons

why when you go to the opticians or

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maybe your beauty salon a lot of them

will be wearing white coats, it's

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not 'cause they're medical doctors

or they need to be white coats.

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No to it's because it gives you this

sense of that they are qualified

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and they know what they're doing.

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It's a uniform and it's there for you.

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So they look the part that's right.

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I'm not asking, wouldn't

ask them to change it.

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They look the part.

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We need to look the part as well.

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So it is an important element of your

influence to, to look like you should

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look for what you want to do or to

look like your audience would want you

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to look and still stay true to your

own style as much as you can as well.

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Angie: I think that the, yes,

and I feel like, there's been a

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transition, there's been a growth.

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That space and whether we like them or

not, like obviously the bigger names of

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coaching and speaking, the Tonys, the

Mels, all those people, they're getting

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into that posting and posting and posting.

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They didn't necessarily create it,

but they definitely hopped onto it.

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So I feel like there's a little

gray area for the people who

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aren't the Tonys and the Mels

yet, because there's this want to.

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I don't know how to pronounce his name.

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I think his last name is ach.

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Did you ever see him on

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John: yeah, Gary Vaynerchuk.

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Angie: Call him

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John: He often, yeah, most

people shorten it to Gary V.

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So I think we're good with that.

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Angie: So here's the thing.

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I'm like kicking myself in the butt

saying I could have Gary V all day long.

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'cause he's huge, whether

you like him or not.

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Because he's very, we know, right?

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He's very potty mouth.

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He just says it the way it is and

I'm thinking, I'm looking at him

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saying to myself, I could do that.

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'cause he does, he still

does have great messaging.

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But he just says it in such

a way that's relatable.

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And obviously his target audience

is a very specific group.

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And I'm thinking, I could have potty

mouth, I could have combined my

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potty mouth with my knowledge and

experience and been that person.

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Aha.

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But the joke is, joy,

did I really want that?

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And the answer was no.

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That was my answer.

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It was like, I don't want to do that.

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What do I want to be?

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Image wise, as a coach and a speaker,

and I don't know about you, let me

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ask you, so do you feel like for

you, the image the influencer needs

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to be more polished, that type of a,

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John: I ideally.

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Really and I'll tell you what,

I don't necessarily think that

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it has to start off that way.

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I think we can and should start

imperfectly and build from there.

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And it's okay for your audience

to see growth and transformation

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over that time as well as you

develop and figure things out.

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If you are aiming to have a professional,

respected brand that people can trust,

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I think there is an element to which

you need to at least be able to settle

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people's minds a bit about, oh you do

actually make some effort to at least look

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and seem like the part that you should do.

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And again, this isn't

trying to fool anyone.

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It's all about creating the feel

that feels right for you and for your

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audience and for what you're doing.

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The level of professionality that you

want to have if I wanted to purely

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talk to business executives, I probably

would have a little bit less of music

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books and Star Wars models behind me.

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And a bit more of a professional not

austere necessarily, but a bit more

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classical background of, okay, let's

get rid of the fun stuff a bit more.

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And now we, maybe we could

have a splash of that, but.

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Make it much more professional looking.

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So it's gonna look more like a corporate

environment, because that's really what

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they're expecting to see, and that's

where they're gonna see later, like,

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all right, I'm getting a corporate sense

from you and getting that image as well.

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So I do think the image stuff

is important to some degree.

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Your visual brand does matter.

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And if you look.

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A bit crappy on video.

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People are gonna judge that you

haven't really made much of an

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effort, or maybe you're new to this.

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Or I think more and more if you're putting

out content on YouTube and you don't look

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like you have a professional setup, people

are less likely to want to watch you.

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I say it's a bit like in a restaurant,

like if your food could come out looking

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like crap and taste amazing, but if it

comes out and looks like crap, you're

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probably not gonna want to eat it because

that's all part of the image and the

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experience, so we, with our eyes to

some degree, your food could come out

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and look amazing and tastes like crap.

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These things can happen, but you're more

likely to have a better experience if

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your food looks good and tastes good.

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Angie: Yeah, I have some challenge

on that and it's not that I disagree

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because I love the analogy of how

your food is plated but I think what

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I realized is that I worked very

hard to create a specific image.

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And what I found in working with

specific people, is that right?

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'cause my audience is professional, right?

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The executive.

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And I think a lot of people are a little

surprised to hear that because when you

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and I are talking, I'm not like sitting

here that this polish, I just am who I am.

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And when I get on with some of these

people, like on video and stuff.

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They're living just the way that they are.

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So I would be like looking, if I

was the executive that you were

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looking to coach or speak with,

I'd be like, that is so cool.

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Look at this guy with

all his Star Wars things.

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Because it shows the little

bit of the human side.

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So again, this is not to say what John

is saying is wrong 'cause it's not,

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but I think it's along the lines of

kind of still being who you are and.

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Injecting that into the

image as well, because

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John: But this is a little different

when we're talking about working

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one-to-one with clients though

to, when you're publishing stuff

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onto social media platforms.

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And sometimes when I'm working one-to-one

with clients, I've done that from coffee

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bars, I've done that from all sorts of

places when I've needed to, and it doesn't

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really matter that much, but when you

are looking to be an authority online, I

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think how you come across visually does

matter much as that this guy, this podcast

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is made primarily an audio podcast.

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And so it needs to sound reasonably

good as well because if the audio sucks.

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People aren't gonna want to listen.

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Angie: Oh, absolutely.

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John: And if the show's not edited and we

don't have a proper beginning of music and

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stuff like that, these are all things that

add those credibility elements to what we

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do and create influence by giving us that.

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Oh these guys know what they're

doing actually to some degree.

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It is important and it's different when

we're talking about what you're gonna

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potentially put out to the world, to what

you may put out on a one-to-one call or

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a group coaching program where you are

interacting more personally with people

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in those elements and there's a lot more

leeway and there're focused more on you.

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But even then, if you have stuff in your

environment, I feel like this is a little

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Ted talk now, but if you have stuff in

your environment that helps to solidify

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or secure that image or that sense of

who you are, where you may want things

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that, my background is intentional.

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It does represent stuff that I

genuinely have interest in, and it's

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designed in my head to be fun, to

show creativity and to show learning.

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So there's books, there's models,

there's pictures, there's a keyboard

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there with music book on it.

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Those are the things that I want

people to associate with me because

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they are things that are about me.

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So having those in my environment gives

that tells you that unconsciously,

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if you're seeing me on video

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Angie: I know it's very intentional

because this is not your home office.

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This is an office that you

leave your home to go to.

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John: Yeah.

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Angie: Oh, this is just the room in

John's house and this is where he stores

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his, personal stuff, like your office.

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And the first time we got on video, I

was like, oh my gosh, you like Star Wars?

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Remember it started this

whole conversation about.

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Doctor who and all the things.

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John: Yeah.

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Angie: Insight as to

really just who you are.

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And that's what I was thinking as I

was saying what I was saying earlier.

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So your office is definitely,

it's very intentional.

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It's not just some extra room in

your house where you're just throwing

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your things that don't fit any place

else that you know, your spouse

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won't let you keep out in the open.

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This is your space.

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So I do agree you should,

here's the thing I.

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I think that we need to be

intentional about what the image

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is that we want to portray.

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I do think so.

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To some degree.

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It's not a fake it thing, it's

just you need to be, who's your

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audience and how are you showing up?

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Because honestly, if I'm gonna talk

to teenagers, for example, and that's

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my space, that's my audience, or

I'm gonna be coaching with them,

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I'm not showing up in the suit.

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I have them, but that they're gonna

look at me and go, oh my goodness.

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Look at her.

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I'm in like jeans and sneakers

and I'm like, Hey guys.

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And I'm speaking a bit differently.

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So to your point than if I'm speaking

to the executives, I'm certainly, my

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hair's not in a ponytail and I'm not

wearing like a jean jacket or something.

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I'm gonna change that bit.

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You have to be intentional about it.

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But I think.

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Really get caught up like that.

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They, that they look at influence and

influencer, like they're interchangeable.

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That they mean the same thing.

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John: I don't know.

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I don't know, to be honest with you.

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I do think most people probably

understand that influence and

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influencer are not the same thing.

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I.

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Dictionary wise, anyone who

exerts influencers an influencer.

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So technic

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Angie: Did you just say dictionary?

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John: Yeah.

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Just official definition would be anyone

who has influence and the way we use

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the language is a little different.

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So the association we tend to have

with influencer is someone who has

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a big social media following and

probably posts lots of photographs of

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delicious meals and beautiful families

and sexy bodies and whatever else.

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I do think that is somewhat

changing, or at least I hope it is.

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I can only really say from my perspective

that I feel like that is changing somewhat

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because I see far less of what people

generally associate as the sort of fake

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lifestyle gurus who look like they have

this perfect body and image and all

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that, and you know that can't be real.

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Like you're, you are just

seeing edited highlights.

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But it is alright, this is a curated

image curated lifestyle, and we do need

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to somewhat curate for ourselves as

well to what we put out to the world.

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Because being authentic doesn't

mean to say that I need to turn the

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camera and show you a sink full of

dirty dishes or something like that.

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Not that there is

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Angie: don't wanna see me when I

wake up in the morning for sure

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John has, but the rest of you don't.

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John: The, that's the thing is like with

authenticity needs to be to a degree you

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need to stay true to who you are, but we

don't need to lay ourselves bare for the

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audience and reveal all of our secrets.

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We do still need to curate and

decide what is okay or cool to share.

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With people and what isn't.

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And it's it's a really difficult thing.

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'cause some people think that authenticity

just means you just, you or, but we are

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all different in different situations.

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Angie: Sure.

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John: I think we do need to decide

how we want to be showing up and

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how we want to be perceived online.

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It's all branding but to have influence

with that it's important that we look

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right, that as best we can, we sound

right and that we are sharing good content

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and a little bit of ourselves that we

share some stuff about us personally.

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I think you know who

Russell Brunson is, right?

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Have you heard of Russell Brunson?

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Yeah.

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The ClickFunnels guy.

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I'm not a ClickFunnels fan or cult

member some people call it, but his

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books which I think he has at least

three, and they're all online secrets or

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social media secrets, really good books

on how to build up your brand and how

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to share socially and set yourself up as

a person of influence in your industry.

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And that sharing a lot of professional

knowledge and insight and sharing

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some personal elements of you as

well, so that people can connect with

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you as a human being, not just as

an object or a professional thing.

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It's like you have a

bit more reality to you.

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More and more people are sharing stories.

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Have you noticed this, that more and more

people are sharing stories online these

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days and I think something we should all

probably do more of because stories are

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a great way to connect with each other

and for people to feel more personal

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stories about you, about your family,

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not the LinkedIn BS

stuff about oh, my child.

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My child came and said this to me the

other day, and you know that's either

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been made up or really because they're

trying to make some sort of point on

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LinkedIn and yeah, not that, but real

stuff that happens to you in your life

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that can be shared and maybe gives

you an insight because very often.

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The biggest realizations or insights we

have come in the mundane areas of our

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lives, and we can share those stories.

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Angie: Oh my gosh.

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I would say most of the ideas in my

personal content for speaking or quote

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has come from a real life experience

of my own or even with a client and

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I'm like, oh, let me write that down.

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Or even some of our ideas here.

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It happens very naturally and

organically and we're like, Hey,

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we should be talking about that.

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So that's, I think where the authenticity

piece comes in at, that everything

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isn't planned and structured.

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I'm gonna be honest with

you, I'm a Disney fan.

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I don't wanna take the tour behind.

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I don't wanna go behind the scenes

and see the inner workings because

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I like living in the world, right?

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: 00:20:02

I like living in the

image because I like it.

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: 00:20:06

I don't wanna change

how I feel about that.

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So there's only so far I want to go.

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And on the flip side of that.

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There's only so much that I want to share.

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I will be authentic.

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: 00:20:17

But again, nobody needs to see

ri when she first wakes up in the

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morning and her hair is everywhere.

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: 00:20:22

And I'm telling everybody about things

that are not really relevant unless there

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: 00:20:28

is a specific this is what I'm doing.

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: 00:20:32

No, you don't wanna see, oh, Angie's

cleaning her toilet bowl today.

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: 00:20:35

Nobody wants to see that in the

coaching and speaking world.

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: 00:20:39

Not really.

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: 00:20:40

John: There are elements of your

life that people would just feel,

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: 00:20:42

why are you telling me this?

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: 00:20:43

Why is this relevant in

any way, shape, or form?

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: 00:20:45

Or, it doesn't really tell me anything

about you, or it doesn't tell me anything

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: 00:20:48

I want to hear or know about you.

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: 00:20:50

And that stuff is better curated out.

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: 00:20:52

And this is kinda what

we're talking about.

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: 00:20:54

Get rid of the fluff and the nonsense and

stuff that nobody is gonna care about.

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: 00:20:58

And when you are sharing personal

stuff, share it to connect with people.

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: 00:21:02

And when you're sharing

professional stuff, again, share

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: 00:21:04

that to connect, but share it to.

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: 00:21:05

Educate, entertain and all

those good things as well.

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: 00:21:09

Angie: Do you have a question

for the coaching clinic?

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: 00:21:11

John: Reach out on LinkedIn to

connect with Angie and John.

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: 00:21:13

Angie: Leave us a voicemail

or video message and we will

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: 00:21:16

feature you on the show.

403

: 00:21:17

John: You can also leave up

to 92nd voicemail for free

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: 00:21:20

on www.speakpipe.com/the

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: 00:21:24

Coaching Clinic podcast.

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: 00:21:26

Angie: We'd love to hear from you.

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: 00:21:27

John: See you next time.

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: 00:21:28

Angie: Bye for now.